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Renaissance

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The Renaissance marked a cultural period in history where human beings paused from all their rutting and decided to use their noggin. World leaders and church officials protested this time out from the world's greatest pastime to no avail. Syphilis and the black plague were starting to take it's toll gosh darn it, and ninety seconds of pleasure just wasn’t worth it anymore. What do you mean your sister told you it lasted ten seconds?! No, it was at least sixty.

Italy is where the Renaissance started with Galileo’s ascent up phallic symbols to drop his iron balls, and Picocvbdfbdfbsdfhbdnbxsb df de Gallo of the Medici gang talking smack with Niccolo Machiavelli. Other east/west coast factions also got into the act thus propagating the creation of new artful ways to taunt or otherwise demean rivals. If Cesare Borgia could name a salad after himself, well then by golly its your duty as Botticelli to paint your girlfriends friends like goddesses with huge bust lines and outrageous curves. Copernicus tried to get many back on track with his Femalecentric theory but people weren’t listening. Chicks like Isabella d'Este were paying the bills and if the lady wants a painting by Titian and Da Vinci then she gets it. (more...)

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