Uncle Victor's Museum of Dead Things

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“This is the worst museum in the world, I mean there's no smoking rooms!!

~ Winston Churchill on Uncle Victor's Museum of Dead Things

“My career is in here somewhere!!

~ Elton John on Uncle Victor's Museum of Dead Things

“We are not amused!!

~ Queen Victoria on Elton John and Winston Churchill

The Museum - Location and History[edit]

Uncle Victor ? Wynyard... Adolf Hitler is my second cousin

Sir Victor ? Wynyard , born September 30, 1898, was the eldest son of Lord Bernard Wynyard. He graduated from the Royal Military College at Sandhurst, but after avoiding service in both Turkey and the Somme he Was hunted down by the Ministry of Defence as a draft dodger. But after they had captured him, the First World War had come to an end, and so his tenure in the army was therefore useless.

A daring escape after he had been captured made him a national hero, and in 1920 he was elected to Parliament as a Member of the Labour Party. Despite his aristocratic background, he again refused to take part in military matters until a Royal Commission discovered his abscondance in WW1. He was then sent to Singapore and was there went the naval port fell at the hand of the Japanese.

It was here that he developed an unnatural obsession with the dead, and actively barraced to be sent to France for the D-Day invasions. He was appointed as a tank commander and it was generally thought that he was unfit for service when he started taking parts of corpses from the battlefield and mailing them back to England. By 1945 he had amassed some 85,000 pieces, however he did not have even the slightest inkling as to what to do with them. The military fearing what he may do before the end of the war, suggested to royalty the he be knighted and removed from the front line. He then became Secretary to the Exchequor and remained there until the close of hostilities.

After the war had finished, and after showing incredible prowess at managing people he became head of the Bank of England. On March 1, 1946, the bank, privately owned for 252 years, was placed under government ownership, the treasury holding the capital stock. The nationalized bank, operating under the charters of 1694 and 1946, was to manage the British national debt. Again suspicions arose when over a period of four months had had managed to steal some £11,500,628 in copper coins from the banks stores.

He was deposed as the Bank's head and became a virtual recluse, but returned to his life of poaching the remains of deceased animals and victims of car crashes. His most daring attempt to acquire a corpse came with the passing of Sir Winston Churchill. After successfully scaling the walls of the Houses of Parliament he managed to flee with the late Sir Winston in a disguised bakery van and thus on January 24, 1965, armed guards shot Victor at Tower Bridge. He had long championed for a public service of the Bank and it was a disaster for the country that he did not live to carry it out.

Using the funds acquired by Sir Victor, some £11,500,628 in coppers, the building on Myrtle Street, in the grounds of the University of Equinus was completed. It now houses ten departments and part of the University Library.

The Museum - Location and History[edit]

The Musuem at its busiest

In 1971, the museum opened its doors to the public for the first time. Officially the building was opened by Sir Victor's third son Partario. The north wing of the University Library, was vacated and transformed into exhibition areas. Later in 1996 the South Wing housing an auditorium, and galleries for temporary exhibitions, was also opened with additional restaurants, shops, and parking facilities.

The collection is home to some 94,000 artifacts, either collected by the man himself of laid intestant to the museum by benefactors who wish to see the man's dream turn ever into reality. Other departmental divisions of the museum are the Research Laboratory and the Department of Conservation. The museum also publishes numerous catalogs and handbooks on the collections.

See Also[edit]