Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/December 1

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Contrary to popular belief, Sherlock Holmes was not, in fact, a silhouette.

December 1: Sherlock Holmes Day, International December 1st Day (not Scotland)

  • 0 - 00:01: The DFS sofa sale starts.
  • 1 CE - Advent is invented. Advocates of the Year 0 riot in confusion.
  • 3 CE - Chocolate advent calendars are invented as the ones with cobras behind the doors prove to be unpopular.
  • 1531 - First slave ship carrying White people crashes off the coast of Mali.
  • 1887 - Sherlock Holmes appears for the first time, in a dazzling sheer white silk taffeta evening gown, creating an instant sensation throughout the Victorian world.
  • 1889 - Holmes appears again, this time in a pink lace teddy, during a "pre-release" trade-show demonstration of the latest features of Windows Vista.
  • 1897 - Holmes disappears over Switzerland's Reichenbach Falls, only to reappear three years later on the northern shoals of Lake Lugano as a giant squid.
  • 1935 - First known accusation of pedophilia made against Woody Allen when he is caught staring at hot Asian infant in next crib.
  • 1981 - Britney Spears is conceived. "JUST LEAVE HER ALONE!!!!" says the only person on Earth who will not exploit her or allow her to exploit them. Ironically, that person would be run over and killed by a 3-year-old Spears in her Barbie car.
  • 1993 - Sonic the Hedgehog is run over by Jimi Hendrix on a floating motorcycle of jealousy.
  • 1995 - School of the year survey results are stolen. Sherlock Holmes investigates. His response: "Elementary, my dear Watson."
  • 2000 - The United States of America is replaced with an exact replica. No one notices, except for the rest of the world.
  • 2001 - The Sherlock Holmes cartoon sweeps the nation of the United Kingdom. Hundreds die when bad dubbing and flashing-far-from-this-future lights causes people to bleed from their ears.
  • 2006 - Satan returns to Earth and gets mugged in Compton, Miami Beach, Baltimore and Philadelphia. He then visits Edinburgh, Scotland and gets into real trouble.