Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/December 13

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Sod off, wanker!

December 13: Speak with a British Accent Day (UK)

  • 10000 BCE - Ug Nug Fug Nug is born, the famous musician responsible for the creation of the violin and other various sexually orientated musical instruments (i.e., the sexualin).
  • 211 - Roman Emperor Septimius Severus dies at York from eating spotted dick, unaware that it needed to be taken out of the can first.
  • 1067 - William the Conqueror invades the previously uninvaded British Aisles.
  • 1580 - A frustrated Francis Drake returns to England after traveling the world to find a compatible power point for his Waffle iron.
  • 1776 - Britain and its American colonies schedule a war over the word 'aluminium' even though neither has ever seen it.
  • 1808 - Count Henrich von Flammenweffer invents lava as a way of preventing skiers from taking over his favourite mountains in the winter.
  • 1852 - Elisha Otis invents the elevator in America and orders pour in from the UK. As people with posh accents there cannot pronounce 'elevator', they call it a 'wift' instead.
  • 1942 - No people are born on December the 13th, due to National No-Birthdays Day. Experts attribute this phenomenon as having to do with a worldwide feeling of 'I don't feel like getting any ass today' in mid March.
  • 1992 - Bob like pie.
  • 2002 - Fraidai the 13th, Satan renames Hell to "Bloody Hell".
  • 2003 - SARS becomes the new iPod.
  • 2005 - On the twelfth day of Christmas, My true love gave to me, A summons from the local JP...
  • 2008 - Uncyclopedia is teleported into an alternate universe where this sentence did not exist. It will be returned to normal just now.
  • 2012 - Dyslexic people celebrate that the world didn't end with the Mayan calendar yesterday. Everyone else is still nervous.