Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/July 1

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July 1: Dennis Rodman Appreciation Day (in Canada), Canada Day (in most other countries).

  • 1621 - The first curling joke is told in Massachusetts by Pilgrims frowning upon a frivolous game. In reality, they are jealous that they cannot play the game outdoors 350 days a year like their neighbors to the north.
  • 1691 - Voyageurs come across Dennis Rodman shooting free throws in a clearing; an impromptu game of H-O-R-S-E occurs.
  • 1863 - The Battle of Gettysburg begins. One hundred forty years later, Brooke leaves me, sparking my own personal battle.
  • 1867 - The British North America Act takes effect as the Constitution of Canada, creating the Canadian Confederation, and laying down the first widely accepted standard rules of hockey.
  • 1890 - Canada and Bermuda are linked by telegraph cable; Canada briefly enjoys participation in the Bermuda Triangle until a lobster severs the connection.
  • 1933 - The Canadian Parliament suspends all Chinese immigration; the dreams of countless Chinese youths of playing hockey for a career are sundered.
  • 1970 - Boston Bruins goaltender Gerry Cheevers is honored on Canada Day as the Canadian of the Year. As the presenter attempts to hand him his trophy, he deftly blocks it with a stick save, sending it into the audience.
  • 1980 - O Canada officially becomes the national anthem of Canada, replacing Canada Is Pretty Neat, Eh?.
  • 2012 - Dennis Rodman convinces his BFF Kim Jong-un to tour with him on a take-on-all-comers 2-man beach volleyball tour through Canada.
  • 2020 - The United States invades Canada with the intention of creating the massive new national park "Mooseland". After arriving, however, nothing of any interest was found, and all armed forces are withdrawn from the area.