Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/July 10

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Outhouse in the woods 05.jpg

July 10: International Bathroom Stall Graffiti Day

  • 351 BCE - Socrates is the first to ask the question "Does a bear shit in the woods?" It would not be until a century later that explorers would find bear outhouses in Northern European forests.
  • 14 CE - Roman poet Ovid, at the height of his writing powers, is the first to write "He who writes on shithouse walls... ".
  • 734 - Aliens land somewhere in Europe and teach squirrels trigonometry to find stored nuts. This only happens after trying to teach math skills to humans who are found to be lacking in comprehension skills.
  • 1783 - Benjamin Franklin starts up the US post office by training penguins to carry transatlantic mails. Unfortunately, all letters would end up in Antarctica, a tradition that the current postal service continues today.
  • 1796 - Carl Friedrich Gauss discovers that every positive integer is representable as a sum of at most three triangular numbers, yet he remains steadfastly confounded by other number-shapes such as the octagonal numbers and the irritating square pi.
  • 1821 - The United States takes possession of its newly bought territory of Florida from Spain. The state instantly becomes recognized for its oranges, old people, hurricanes, and other stereotypes, except for Disney World which would not be constructed until 1875.
  • 1965 - Lincoln writes the Gettysburg Address on an outhouse wall. In his great speech, he would speak a few memorized lines and then return to the outhouse brought to the podium for the next few lines.
  • 1938 - Diabolical billionaire Howard Hughes sets a new record by completing a 91 hour flight around the world in just 87 hours.
  • 1981 - Billy Idol writes Dancing With Myself in a public lavatory, adopting the echo for the actual recording.
  • 2005 - Microsoft decides to remove the "Undo" button from all its programs, "for customer convenience".
  • 2006 - Realizing their mistake in the previous year, Microsoft tries to fix the problem, yet is unable to undo the mistake due to the lack of a button enabling this process.
  • 2007 - On the anniversary of its acquisition by the United States, Florida is flooded while ironically leaving Sea World above water.