Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/May 6

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
No pants day.jpeg

May 6: No Pants Day (observed)

  • 39 CE - Roman Emperor Caligula decrees No Pants Day with no one to wear pants under penalty of death. Only his horse Artax is allowed an exemption.
  • 1186 - The art of making pants is lost in the West. Thousands die even on days that are just moderately breezy.
  • 1527 - Spanish and German troops sack Rome, ending the Renaissance and the Era of Poofy Pants in one stroke.
  • 1536 - King Henry VIII orders English language Bibles to be placed in every church, along with wooden crucifixes and stores of holy water, in efforts to stave off vampire invasions.
  • 1866 - Oscar Wilde's short story A House of Pomegranates makes the first use of pie charts in known literature.
  • 1882 - The United States Congress passes the Chinese Exclusion Act, followed shortly by the Colored Folk Rights Denial Bill.
  • 1911 - Pharmacists invent eye bleach just in time for this year's No Pants Day.
  • 1935 - Lawrence of Arabia endeavors to jump his motorcycle over the duck pond at Buckingham Palace. He is killed in the attempt due to an accident with a scarf dropped by Isadora Duncan.
  • 1954 - Roger Bannister becomes the first human to run the mile in less than four minutes and also passes the subsequent tests for drug use and being a robot.
  • 2007 - Queen Elizabeth stands in line with the great unwashed to place a bet on a bobtail nag running in the Kentuckistan Derby.
  • 2010 - The general election is held in the UK. Everyone loses.
  • 2012 - American Seymour Butts becomes the first man to cross the Atlantic in a badonkadonk.