Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/September 2
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September 2: Me Love You Long Time Day
- c.30,000 BCE - A Cro-Magnon makes the first Asian hooker stereotype joke, giving a Denisovan enough time to sneak up behind him and club him in the head.
- 236 BCE - Vietnamese villagers agree to be invaded by neighboring kingdoms on a regular basis in exchange for the rights to the Village People.
- 944 - Scribes deliberately introduce errors into manuscripts. As a result, the story "We love you, Long Tim" is forever altered.
- 1301 - Marco Polo's descriptions of camels and humps is misinterpreted, with thousands of Italians arranging sex tours on the Silk Road.
- 1856 - Robert Bunsen becomes the most famous pyromaniac of all time.
- 1967 - Horny American soldiers get themselves in trouble in Vietnam when they mis-hear what sounds like "Me love you long time" from waitresses, which is Vietnamese for "Do you want pancakes with that?".
- 1971 - Soldiers returning from Vietnam discover that the "love" continues for a "long time" in the form of nasty tropical STDs.
- 2003 - The full metal jacket becomes standard wear for rock concerts.
- 2004 10:32 PM GMT -- Me start to love you.
- 2004 10:33 PM GMT -- Me stop lovin' you.
- 2004 10:34 PM GMT -- Me say, "OK, maybe I no love long time after all."
- 2005 10:35 AM GMT -- Me say, "I never really loved you to begin with."
- 2008 12:69 PM GMT -- Children's entertainer and all round purple dinosaur, Barney, provoked into fight with a Spanish tortoise on live children's television. Barney's public statement read, "I love you. You love me...Ahh f**k it! That stupid green C**T slept with my wife!". Tortoise Talkative Eric is later charged with being totally freaking awesome, an all round green reptilian.