Vidja Game

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Them kids with them vidja games and new fangled technology.

It's all bad, y'know.


Hate that stuff.[edit]

Gad durned children.

All of it, mmm-yup.

This one boy down the street, he's got the worst of them all I tell you what.

Not to say they're all bad.

Back in my day we didn't have vidja games, we just had doctor and cops and robbers.

Now that's some good, clean fun I tell you what.

Another fun game was marbles. We'd just shoot those little balls all day long. Endless fun and no mayhem.

But nowadays, y'know. Real bad stuff.

Have you seen that one game? With the whores and the guns and mafia and all that?

Real bad I tell you what.

And don't forget the one that is about Dungeons and Demons or whatever these whippersnappers like to play these days.

None of it's good, neither.[edit]

Ol' Gladys told me that some vidja games is good, but that's none right at all.

On the contrary, none of them is good a bit. Not one, nuh-uh. And I've seen them all.

I walked into one of them Eletromagic Boutiques the other day, where the durned children buy their vidja games, and the fella who worked there had the gum not to help me when my walker got caught in the electric entrance thingamajig.


What's the point of those things anyway. Like I'd ever steal from a library.

Gad durned paranoid kids I tell you what.


It's all bad stuff. After I got my walker untangled I fancied a little trip around the store and lemme tell you what I found.

Unbelievable stuff I tell you what.

There was the one game about cars having sex with monkeys as they done crashed into each other.

Yup, you heard me right.

Durned vidja game makers would thinka anything. I'm in the mind to head down to their home and knock the stuffing outta them with my cane.


They give the kids the brain damage, too.

Why, ol' Glady's own nephew only wants to play his vidja games when he visits the Home. He thinks about anything is a vidja game, anyway. He pointed at my catheter and said "Hey man, is that a vidja game?" and I said "Heck no boy, that ain't no vidja game, unless you consider sticking piss outta my wee wee to be fun and technomologic."

Haven't seen the kid since. Set the li'l bastard straight I tell you what.

All this rantin' bout vidja games is makin' my throat cranky. Git me some orange juice, kid.


Now that's some good OJ, mmm-yep. A piece of old fashioned America in every sip, without the pulp.

That's what we durned-well need more of.

Less vidja games, more OJ. And no games about OJ either!

Them two stuffs like an acid and a base, purple pants with a red shirt, or two penises and one hole. You just don't combine them. Nature don't work that way.

As much as some of us long it did.


I don't know why I ever bought that Gad durned shirt in that gad durned Kay Beck anyway. Sometimes I'm happy that old crone that dragged me there is gone I tell you what.

If she were still here she'd be worse'n be, rantin' off like this about vidja games.

Good riddance, I say.

I never liked that goldfish.


Well, I's always got Lurlene[edit]

Yup, she'd stick with me through rain or shine.

That's one woman I can trust to know her place.

The wife just cooks and cleans, and leaves the feeding and vacation planning to me.

Them types you can tru-

Wait a minute, I say.

Is that...?

What the? It is! Gad durned woman, get back in the fishbowl!