Button Moon

“One always used to watch it with Lady Diana, that was until she went and snuffed it, Gaffaw Gaffaw”

~ The Queen on Button Moon

“What a cunt”

~ Peter Cook on Button Moon

“Why, my dear boy, it's really all in the wrist”

~ Oscar Wilde on Button Moon

“I've been to Button Moon. I rarely talk about how I am revered there, more so even than Mr Spoon”

~ Jeffrey Archer on lies about Button Moon

The infamous but recleuse Button Moon, post Huff

Button Moon appeared on British TV screens for the first time in 1981 for Thames Television, and a total of 7 series were made (13 episodes per series). Plus the recently uncovered pilot episode of Button Vision, a collaboration with The Chuckle Brothers. Sadly though, just after the BBC commissioned the series to go ahead, Barry Chuckle was knocked down by a mobility scooter and died later in hospital from extensive bruising to his lower shin.

The Basic Premise

The stories and original design were by Ian Allen and the puppets and settings were produced by the late John Thirtle (now re-incarnated as a Chinese undergarment). The program followed the adventures of Mr. Spoon, an abusive alcoholic and his family, consisting of Mrs Twatstick and Tina Teaspoon, occasionaly (every episode) the viewer had to go off to Button Moon, follow Mr. Spoon, Button Moon, Button Moon. This is the kind of boring repitition found in every popular childrens program.

Shoestring Budget

The show was narrated by Robin Parkinson and the famous music was written and sung by Peter Davidson (of Dr Who fame) and Sandra Dickenson (who played "Trillion" from the Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy). At the time they were married to each other. This was to end in tradgedy as Sandra, the long suffering wife murdered Davidson upon discovering he was having an affair with one of the shows characters, Mr. Spoon.

Mr. Spoon pictured in his washing up bottle rocket

Facts About Button Moon

• Incredibly, all 7 series of button moon cost just 12 shillings, something only beaten by Universal Soldier 2 which cost nothing.
• Over 12 copies of Button Moon DVD's have sold in the UK, beating blockbuster title's such as Universal Soldier 2.
• Button Moon was discovered by Patrick Moore in 1979, shortly thereafter the British government sent the film crew and on May 12th 1980 the first landing was made.
• Mr. Spoon is not really a spoon, he just has spoons for arms
• Calling Mr. Spoon a spoon is considered racist
• Tina Teaspoon, daughter of Mr Spoon, went on to star with Gareth Hunt in a Maxwell House coffee advert.
• In episode 4 of season 5, Mr. Spoon crashes his washing up bottle spaceship into a cameraman's crotch, causing it to implode. If you look lcosely in frame 40,693,480,385 you can see the unedited footage of Mr. Spoon drinking a bottle of Knob Creek Kentucky Bourbon shortly before boarding the washing bottle rocket. It's thought that although Mr. Spoon had an incredible resiliance to alcohol, it was this that caused him to loose control and render the cameraman seedless.
• Button moon itself had an incredible Kitten Huffing habit, it was not uncommon for Button Moon to consume 300 kittens a day.
• One of the characters on button moon was a strange but nonetheless friendly vacuum cleaner. It later became the basis of the original Dyson vacuum cleaner. In 1989 after the show was axed the vacuum was cast as Vera Duckworth's Hoover in coronation Street before being sacked when bagless cleaners became widely available.
• Dean Gaffney's complexion is modelled on the surface of Button Moon
• NASA never landed on Button Moon nor the real one.

After Button Moon

With cash rolling in from the TV show. Spoon spent the next few years spending high, building bigger `beancan` rockets, with bigger capabilities. He was later arrested by interpol for selling `beancan` missile technology to Pakistan and Burma, however released on technicalities. Mr Spoon`s continued interest in exploration put a strain on family life. His eventual goal was being the first Spoonman to walk on Jupiter. Mr Spoon and Mrs Spoon separated in 1994. I was living next door to them during those troubled years and I once heard over the garden fence "You stainless steel bitch! How could you? With Kevin of all people! I can`t believe I brought a used car from that asshole only last week!" Well you think you know someone!