CreationWiki

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Those left-wing bastards at Wikipedia choose to not have an article about CreationWiki [1] [2] [3]. Fortunately, we here at Uncyclopedia have somewhat lower different standards.

Note: This article is a vile lie perpetrated by goons. If you are an True Scienstist™ and you find this article enraging, you must not read it and see the truth here.

CreationWiki is a virtual Internets entity that any True Christian™ literal fundamentalist saved YEC creationist can edit. It serves as God's final bulkwark against the unremitting evilness of this depraved world. It has all of the good, All-American knowledge you can rely on! Now contains 100% less fact! Some of us don't hate them, as they claim. We just cannot stomach misinformation when it's not funny, [1]

CreationWiki is not to be confoosed with EvoWiki, the notorious demonspawn/bastardchild of Wikipedia, www.Talk-Origins.org, and Richard Dawkins combined.

Built on a firm foundation of their own water[edit]

CreationWiki was founded by Dr Noah ben Lamech (a qualified expert on baraminology and hydroplate tectonics) during the intermediate aftermath of the World Wide Wetting Incident of 2525 BCE, partly as the result of a record breaking drinking binge gone horribly wrong. I.E. flashing his front to his kid.

Geologist trying not to get burned obtaining a lava sample. A young earth creationist would stick their hand on the fucking lava.

“Does anyone know why Noah is so annoyed when Ham, his son, sees him sleeping naked (Noah got drunk and passed out). Ham tells his brothers and his brothers put a robe over their shoulders and walk backwards into the tent, so that they won't actually see their father naked, and they cover him with the robe. But when Noah wakes up and finds out what Ham did, he is furious, and he curses Canaan--Ham's son.”

~ From Massachusetts Bible Society

Noah, being the wisest man alive at the time. Wasted no time in laying out the ground rules of honest integrity and free inquiry and scientific research and precisely where you can shove them already.

CreationWiki: 4545 years young![edit]

For thousands of years [NOTE: Not millions! - ed.], the wise and benevolent administrators of CreationWiki have operated just like Uncyclopedia in that they ceaselessly strive to cater to the public's lowest common denominators in terms of objective accuracy or something. It is also said by some people and weasels that CreationWiki possesses advanced mind-reading technology which allows them to divine the innermost secret beliefs of any potential contributor, which sure goes a long way towards pro-actively filtering out unwanted evolutionary bullshit.

Pat Roberson pleads this collective to kindly shut up. See the commentary on Southern Baptists and one will make the connection.

Lover quarrels[edit]

Many people (including the aforementioned weasels) fervently believe that CreationWiki and EvoWiki are mortal enemies, but this is patently not unnecessarily untrue (or not). In all factuality, EvoWiki and CreationWiki share a deep-seated mutual understanding and wholesome respect, because the one simply could not exist without the other, much like a white man and a white woman bounded by the Holy Bonds of conventional white heterosexual marriage. Of course, this is a somewhat imperfect analogy, especially considering that intimate sexual activity between creationists and evolutionists is pretty much out of the question.

Virgin offspring[edit]

In 2005, CreationWiki underwent a long series of improbable mutations spawning a considerable number of derivative childlike Wikii via mitosis, most of which remain reasonably compatible with Ultimate Truth™. These virgin offspring include but are not limited to:

BaraminWiki
A comprehensive alphabetical listing of all 17,576 possible created kinds.
HydroplateWiki
A fun-loving paradise where geologists (and geology) run amok.
UltimateTruthWiki
Contains nothing but innumerable hyperlinks to itself.
IntelligentDesignWiki
(indefinitely down for extensive maintenance due to innumerable software bugs).

External links to more ultimate misinformation[edit]

Reference[edit]

  1. SNL alumni was sharing something that wiki had but one of our newcomers, an Evangelical Deist, will say the earth is 4.5 billion years old and did the research with Kara Cooney on a piece. The expanded White people became the result. The short story Lake Fossil, one can have the discussion on the subject of such in the context of the story.

See also[edit]