Ethnocentrism

To all the world's parochial foreigners, these are the Stars and Stripes! So just read 'em and WEEP!!

Ethnocentrism is judging countries way too quickly just because they say Tu manges une orange and you're like "…, excuse me, WHAAAAAT?" Countries also judge others by the food they eat (What is that?? Are you actually eating CRABS? But how?), the clothes they wear (Is that a MINISKIRT you're wearing? You're a BOY, FOR GOD'S SAKE!), their insistence on speaking foreign languages, and how you look (OMG you're from THE South Korea? You're so hot!).

Because this judgment is considered negative all the time, Presidents take it waaaay to seriously. There was once a war in 1020 (OVER A THOUSAND YEARS AGO) that was between Russia and Great Britain. Weird, right? What has the Russia got to do with the UK? Its friggin' cold there and it's just a war zone!

Symptoms

This is a pet, not food!

• Speaking in foreign languages that no one even knows. There are even three hidden languages that no one said a single word about and people are actually SPEAKING those languages and when they say hi to you in their language, you're confused and you're like "Your weird, man. What language do you speak?" And then THEY get confused because they obviously don't know English.
• Eating COMPLETELY PRICELESS stuff that no respectable human could POSSIBLY digest. For example, creatures crawling at the bottom of the sea and like STRANGE CLOWNFISH (They're not really good examples of clowns) and other things that are usally pets and some other unbelievable nonsense you couldn't pay an American $100,000,000 to eat. And FORGET about drinking common tea. It's just a bunch of leaves mushed together but surprisingly it doesn't taste that bad unless you're in the USA and have all the Pepsi you want.
• Watching the news and saying “OMG but the US is trying to take over the woooooorld!! OMG but I'm not ready to die yet! I'm only 16, and what about my GF? I will never know if she is cheating on me!!" It's always somethig like that because they have nothing better to do then whine because life sux so bad where they live.
• And then they're like, "OH and America created the financial crisis, so now no one has a job or any money to spend" but they don't even realize that, if the U.S.A. didn't print dollars for the whole world, they wouldn't even have any to begin with!!
• Being just so IN LOVE that it probally makes normal people blind just even looking at them. We don't want oders in the US!!

Effects on the world

It seems ethnocentric foreigners are always protesting something or other.

First of all, you know how it takes like forever to get on your plane at the airport? That's because they're so worried about people from mad countries like North Korea brining in bombs and drugs and stuff. I mean, can't they do anything better than sitting around scratching their asses and blowing things up? In America and most countries we have somthing called civilization and, when we want to blow something up, we wait until the 4th of July, Christmas, or even Halloween when its legal.

And how about waiting in lines at McDonald's? You just wanna get a hamburger but you have to wait like 5 years because some moron can't even speak enough English and is like, "Uh uh uh I want french fry" And if one of them is behind the counter? Oh my God! You might as well just turn around and go home instead of eating entirely.

Most ethnocentric countries

Hey! lets go play soccer and kick each other in the nuts! Sounds like real fun? More like laaaaaame!

• Great Britain: Oh My God! They have to learn to talk right, tally-ho! And they also need to start remaking soccer into a real game. Maybe they could have made it more exciting by giving each team some extra baskets on the side to shoot at. Even my Middle School gym has those. And if you need the balls, rest assured, the US has more than enough to export, if you know what I mean. Probably not!
• France: Almost 100 years of history and the only thing you can show for it is Van Damme! And maybe us Americans can show you how to fight a war witout retreating. Until then, just drink your wine until your liver bursts, you pansies!
• Iraq: Nuff said.
• African countries (Senegal, Morocco and ESPECIALLY SOUTH AFRICA): What more can you say about the country that invented AIDS than that it wants to make us all wear condoms? And I think it's called "Wear some clothes," got it? All I gotta say to Africans is they can all go back to Af... oh whatever, they can just get the hell outta there.
• Mexico: No work ethic, nothing is sanitary even though everything smells like disinfectant, nothing of any worth. Three strikes, you're out. I suppose I'll even have to explain that to you? All they basically do is eat tacos and say weird things like Si, Amigos and Hola! Seriously??
• The United States: Absolutely the most ethnocentric country I have seen. They are #1 for it. If there were a competition for the most ethnocentric country on earth the U.S. would definitely win. (No offense meant.)