Forum:Nun locked in wardrobe problem
Hello, I am quite new here and I don't know if this is the place to ask but if anyone could help me out I would appreciate it. My problem is that I have a nun locked in the wardrobe under the stairs. Normally this would be ok but she keeps thumping on the door and shouting and I can't concentrate on the football.
I was wondering if any of you have had a similar problem and what you did to resolve it. A problem shared is a problem halved. Or maybe if anyone would like a nun I'll swop her for a Playstation.
I should state also that I am a methodist.
Thanking you in advance --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 14:58, 25 September 2006 (UTC)
- Personally, I would send her to a local nunnery, but if there are no local nunneries in the area, I would ask on IRC. ~ 15:05, 25 September 2006 (UTC)
- There is a local nunnery but it's not in the area. There's a cattery, but they wouldn't take her. What's IRC? ... "I Return Catholics"? --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 15:08, 25 September 2006 (UTC)
- I'd suggest that you turn off the nun lock button on your keyboard. This should, at the least, alleviate one problem. -- no, yuo
chat 15:11, 25 September 2006 (UTC)
- I tried "nun lock -> escape" and got a 3044 error, "Nun permanently trapped. She may be scratched or dirty. Please wipe her with a shammy". --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 17:35, 25 September 2006 (UTC)
- I'd suggest that you turn off the nun lock button on your keyboard. This should, at the least, alleviate one problem. -- no, yuo
- My brother has had a few of those. He found that by using a leash, a couple of pounds of horse meat, and chilli salsa, he could actually train them to do fancy tricks. For silence, use the "Play Dead" trick. Of course, if you forget about her, and she actually dies, you would be in trouble with the law... no-one likes nun-killers!! Soul101
~MAREPENT!
- She does play dead, but then she plays "risen again" and starts singing, which is worse. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 17:35, 25 September 2006 (UTC)
- I think you're just going to have to stop watching so much football. Alternatively, you could try plugging a pair of those big "cans"-style noise-reducing headphones into the TV and turning the volume up... That might drown the sound out a bit more effectively. c • > • cunwapquc? 18:07, 25 September 2006 (UTC)
- Thank you for your suggestion, but speaking as a methodist, I am unable to wear headphones or big cans because they attract microwaves from the government. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 20:32, 26 September 2006 (UTC)
I think I had a similar problem with a school girl. The way I got her out was that I told her that I invited a tentacle monster over for some tea. That won't work on nuns, though. But maybe if you told her it was a demon... -- 00:11, 26 September 2006 (UTC)
- I tried telling her that the Pope was in the next room, listening for woodworm, but it only made her bang harder and with more enthusiasm. The Pope left because of the noise. He was very angry and threw sugar lumps.--Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 20:32, 26 September 2006 (UTC)
Move out. preferbaly to somwhere with a nunnery in your catchement area. eith that, or start a nunnery. that will give the nun some company at least. --no, yuo 
chat 20:13, 26 September 2006 (UTC)
- I can't start a nunnery! They'll all want to come ... and the wardrobe is only big enough for one nun and a set of golf clubs. I can't move either. They don't let me out, not even with a special pass from a doctor. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 20:32, 26 September 2006 (UTC)
I read about this kind of thing in books and films. Leave her there for a few years, and you'll start getting magical letters from a school of magick, she'll go to wizarding school and you can write a book and make some films about it and make millions. The money will be more than worth the few years of banging and moaning (not in that way (though if the wizarding thing fails, you might try for that (it'd probably be more fun anyway))) • Spang • ☃ • talk • 22:13, 26 September 2006 (UTC)