Game:Pick Up the Phone Booth and Aisle/cockroaches

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Spork.jpg Parts of this article were originally sporked from Dinosaur Comics.


For most of your life, you lacked a purpose - a goal. You wandered aimlessly, staying alive but never actually living.

But then, suddenly, in the middle of this aisle, right next to the telephone booth, a divine revelation struck. The mist in your head has finally parted, and a glorious light - a certain, wondrous knowledge - has flooded in. The haze of uncertainties and petty concerns melts away, revealing three great and unshakeable truths, and the mission that your entire life has been leading up to.

Your mouth is full of cockroaches.

Many of them are dead, but those that aren't are throwing up on you, and on each other.

And you must remove them as quickly and as discreetly as possible.

So, releasing your grip on the shopping cart, you exert your tongue and throat muscles, and in a single joyous, ecstastic moment you propel the disgusting mass of cockroaches down your throat, and out of your mouth. And, for the first time in your entire life, you finally know true happiness.

*** Your purpose in life is complete - which is lucky considering that now you're dying horribly of acute cockroach poisoning in the middle of the supermarket ***


But wait...

You feel a tremendous wrench – the hand of God coming down to wipe clean the temporal chalkboard. The world dissolves, and then quickly floods back into existence, restoring its state as it was before you made your move.

But somehow, things aren't set up exactly the same as last time....

Late Thursday night. You've had a hard day and the last thing you need is this: shopping. Luckily, the place is pretty empty and you're progressing rapidly.

On to the next aisle.

The aisle stretches to the north, and back to the south. The shelves on either side of you block your view of the rest of the supermarket, with only the brightly colored aisle markers visible.

You have stopped your trolley next to the pasta section, bright plastic bags full of pale skin-tone shapes.

There is a brunette woman a few meters ahead, filling her trolley with sauces.

A shiny metal phone booth sits in the center of the aisle.


Your move:

*Secret option!
Super-secret option!
Double super-secret option!

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