Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/January 8

January 8: National Discrimination Day

• 450,000,000,000 BCE - "Earfh" is created, but is quickly destroyed and replaced with the current Earth as simply correcting the typo on the planning form requires two months notice. Dinosaurs die as a result.
• 33 - Jesus begins his steady decline.
• 41 - Roman emperor Caligula is found not to know shit from shinola and takes one for the team.
• 732 - The Dark Ages would suffer from not being allowed to live or work with other ages.
• 1066 - English realty agents chase off Nordic immigrants at Stamford Bridge but fail to prevent French immigrants from taking beachfront property further south.
• 1815 - Andrew Jackson forgets that the war is over and utterly destroys the British Army. Fortunately, America forgives him and treats him as a predecessor to Rambo.
• 1942 - Henry Ford declares his allegiance to Adolf Hitler's dictatorship, who in turn makes Ford improve customer service.
• 1967 - Martin Luther King Jr. dies of a tragic M&M overdose.
• 2009 - Kellogg's continues to conquer the cereal market with Smack after finally dropping the honey flavouring and just selling it straight up. (pictured)
• 2010 - The popular children's story that "an apple a day keeps the doctor away" is discovered to be false; research published in the Daily Mail shows it instead speeds up genital wart formation and werewolfism.