John Denver

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Not John Lennon.

John Denver (December 31, 1943 - October 12, 1997) was a true American singer-songwriter. He was much, much better than John Lennon and better groomed than Alice Cooper. Denver was best known for his songs for Annie, Grandma and Amazon (for an adoring Jeff Bezos). Only then was he allowed to have a sex life.

Career[edit]

In the 1970s, Denver's onstage appearance was pretty much a typical 70s-80s musician, hair, glasses, and things like that. He appeared on the The Muppets show when John Lennon failed to turn up for a recording of a programme. Other singers said this was Denver trying to become cutey with the kiddies.

In the mid-1970s, Denver became frivolously frolicsome in politics. During the 1980s, Denver was critical of The Moon Landing and fluoride toothpaste. He chose his causes carefully, if incoherently. In 1989 Denver changed his name briefly to Hans Deutschmark to celebrate the fall of the Berlin Wall as he was planning a tour there.

Death[edit]

In October 1997, Denver wanted get somewhere fast. He said “screw it, I don’t need Country Roads.” He then got on a jet plane and screamed “TAKE ME HOME,COUNTRY PLAIN!”. The plane then decided to take him to a much better place than home. It’s called Heaven. An inquest said Denver may have been on a Country High as Colorado was one of the first states to legalise drugs.