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Rest In Peace brave souls
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| Today's Featured Article
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In Memoriam
Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.
Todd "Howlin'" Lyons and Some "Fingers" User worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Tomb of the Unknown Contributor.
A minute's deletion is to be observed.
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| On this day...
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May 12: Barry Manilow Appreciation Day, International Zombie Awareness Day (US, Canada)
- 1854 - Outbreak of zombie attacks, causes many deceased voters to form their own party. There was no beer and many people died.
- 1877 - Oscar Wilde pens his poem Sonnet to Liberty, advocating socialism and decrying many contemporary fashion trends.
- 1881 - In North Africa, Tunisia becomes a French protectorate, and thus enjoys its last noteworthy moment for nearly 100 years, until the filming of Star Wars there in 1977.
- 1943 - Barry Manilow is born. He will become a feral child raised by a biker gang.
- 1973 - Manilow forms KISS but leaves due to creative differences and makeup allergies.
- 1974 - Depressed mood ring commits suicide. (pictured)
- 1985 - The Book of the Dead is discovered by a 12-year-old child in London and sold for 3 baseball cards and a Jefferson Starship cassette tape.
- 1987 - The Book of the Dead is set to music by Barry Manilow; more mood rings commit suicide.
- 2003 - Pocahontas sells her memoir Hokey Pokey: Frolicking, Singing, and Doing a White Guy to Disney, which is subsequently made into a popular children's movie.
- 2004 - The zombie of Walter Cronkite rises from the ground to report on the Alabama Tri-County Kitten Pageant.
- 2009 - The late great Dr. Emmett Brown travels back in time to warn America of the future communist dick-tater El Presidente "Bha-rock Obomb-ba" or as we know him as, Presidenture Barack Obama. No one listens to him and our fate has been sealed.
- 2011 - Zompocalypse. Only the nerds were prepared as hordes of
Bieber Fans zombies take over the meat factories.
- 2012 - Star Wars Kid rolls an 8. Zombies die (for real this time).
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| Word of the Day
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Death
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
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| In the news
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- Oscar Wilde writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
- Editors of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint earwig-human hybrid to manage Recent News.
- Jesus was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
- Gothic people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
- The emos commit mass suicide, but nobody cares...duh...
- Mourners flow through the streets of New York in melodramatic fashion,
demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
- All Uncyclopedians are wearing black armbands.
- The Japanese are comitting mass seppuku.
- The British are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In France, rioting ensues.
- Physicists at IITb publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
- The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
- All the Russians are drunk. All the Dutch are stoned. Peyote use at an alarming high among Native Americans.
- In the middle east the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
- The Americans have organised a drive through service.
a duh /b/ was here
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| If anyone cares on a day like today...
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*... there is no truth to the rumour that Candlejack kidnaps people who sa
- ... that, now that I really think about it, I'm not sure what the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle is?
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Protected by Sacred Ground, and our Prayers.
