UnNews:2015 British general election

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We distort, you deride

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UnNews

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Wednesday, April 24, 2024, 02:44:59 (UTC)

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BBC loses General Election LONDON -- Red faces and absurd metaphors are filling the newswires this morning as the British public has voted against the BBC, by electing the Conservatives into Parliament. The tax payer funded, "neutral" BBC have been describing the result as “extraordinary”; and are reeling from the loss of power they thought they had over the Country, and it's Ministers. Announcing their defeat on Newsround, the Childrens BBC News outlet, the main BBC News channels have been busy claiming no one predicted the result; except, of course, the Polls throughout the campaign and sixty million members of the British general public. Full story» Tory win puts gold-diggers in quandary RIPON, England -- Middle-class-hating middle-class women who think they are working-class have been confounded by the Tories' victory in the UK’s general election. Attractive daughters of sheet welders and market traders are unable to “let go” of working-class roots, but also unable to “let go” of the brand new Range Rover Sport. Full story» Britain considers outcomes under Proportional Representation LONDON, UK -- Political analysts have discovered the horrifying truth that if the election were to have been carried out with proportional representation, the United Kingdom would now be sitting under a Communist regime. The D'Hondt system would also have produced an interesting opposition cabinet. Full story»		Latest election news 10 May - Tory win puts gold-diggers in quandary 09 May - UK considers outcomes under proportional representation 08 May - British politics resigns 08 May - BBC loses General Election 05 May - Celebrity murderers back National party coalition 05 May - Scottish Labour to make a comeback 03 May - Sinn Fein attempt to legalise gay marriage 01 May - Green Party leader to 'self compost' after election 01 May - UK parties unveil last-minute campaign posters 29 Apr - Miliband tolerates Russell Brand for fifteen minutes 25 Apr - Minor parties under the spotlight 21 Apr - Liberal Democrats prepare for the worst 17 Apr - Opposition leaders' debate isolates Miliband 16 Apr - UK declares national “state of apathy” 11 Apr - Yellow Submarine to replace Britain's Trident deterrent 08 Apr - Labour to scrap "non-dom" tax contraceptive 05 Apr - SNP leader dithers over her vote 03 Apr - Nigel Farage "only human" to attend ITV debate 01 Apr - Bosses' letter fuels proposed renewable energy scheme 01 Apr - UKIP rejects electoral pact with Monster Raving Loony party 31 Mar - UK Election countdown who’s who 31 Mar - Plaid Cymru propose to unleash Wales onto the UK 29 Mar - Cameron proposes a seven-day NHS 14 Feb - Miliband pledges pledges
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