UnNews:Buffett praises Trump picks, do-overs too

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Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother? UnNews Friday, April 26, 2024, 20:35:59 (UTC)

Buffett praises Trump picks, do-overs too UnNews Logo Potato.png

20 January 2017

The "Oracle of Omaha" even sports a Trump hairdo now. Three of them, in fact.

OMAHA, Nebraska -- Gazillionaire Warren Buffett praised Donald Trump's picks for the Cabinet, saying, "The CEO should have the ability to pick people that help you run a place." If he picks wrong, Buffett said, "He should pick again," radioactivity being very easy to clean up, these days.

Buffett confirmed that this praise extended to nominating someone to head an agency who hates all its programs and wants to fire all its people. Energy pick Rick Perry has disavowed this 2011 promise, though that leaves exactly twenty other department heads to ask.

Buffett was also a notorious supporter of Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, going on road shows with the Democrats to beg for high new taxes that would hit him rather than his dirt-poor Executive Secretary. She famously pays more tax on her pittance of a salary than Buffett pays on his entire Berkshire Hathaway holding, because he never sells any. Buffett fronted for Clinton during the 2016 campaign and taunted Trump to release his income-tax forms, which Buffett did not do, because he was not a candidate for anything. "Show us your wee-wee, too," he baited him, at one point. Neither one did that either.

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Warren Buffett accused of scapegoating former hair stylist

As a test, this reporter first told the 86-year-old corporate baron that Libertarian Gary Johnson had been elected and had nominated Chelsea Manning for Secretary of Defense and Cheech Marin for Health and Human Services, and he was okay with that, too.

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