UnNews:France opens newspaper "anyone can edit"
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| France opens newspaper "anyone can edit" | 
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7 January 2015
PARIS, France -- France has opened its first wiki newspaper, advertising that "anyone can edit it." The first contributors to Charlie Hebdo were two men in black hoods. The humor wiki can be edited by mobile device, and the two selected machine guns and rocket launchers. Their edit resulted in a perma-ban of twelve editors and editorial cartoonists.
Mainstream leaders called the edit a "lone-wolf attack," an act of workplace violence that it had nothing at all to do with Islam, although the Change Summary read, "The prophet is avenged," and there was spontaneous dancing in the streets throughout Palestine. A checkuser revealed that one of the playful Anons went on to register the user name Allahu Akbar, which appears to be Arabic for "murder is the Lulz."
French President François Hollande put the country on alert, and suggested that he might divert the nation's attention from its notorious search for high income earners to track down the two free-lance editors.
World leaders were outraged. U.S. President B. Hussein Obama said the edit should not be used to disparage what his predecessor notoriously called the "religion of peace." Mr. Obama has diverted NASA and the U.S. Army into missions of outreach, and has sent dozens of doctors to minister to the effects of the religious ritual of group washing of Ebola-laden corpses. He was open to traveling to France to show Muslims what a nice guy he is, but was not sure there are golf courses there.
Sources[edit]
- Jamey Keaten and Lori Hinnant "12 dead in attack on Paris newspaper; France goes on alert". Associated Press, January 7, 2015