UnNews:Israeli army follows GPS into Palestine

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2 March 2016

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QALANDIYA, Palestine -- A Jeep-ful of Israeli soldiers have become the latest casualty of following a free android routing app's advice into sheer disaster.

The artificial intelligence unit — specifically, Google's "Waze" directions service "lite", guided the Israeli patrol into the Palestinian refugee camp here. Two Israeli soldiers were using the free "app" — to find the nearest McDonald's, they thought — but were guided into hostile territory. A firefight ensued, with the exchange of improvised explosive devices and conventional assault weapons. The situation was so grave it required an urgent call for air power, emergency helo extraction and seventy Big Macs with large fries.

In the end, according to AFP, casualties included 1 Palestinian, identified as Eyad Omar Sajdia, 22, who was killed; also 15 people, who were wounded.

Google executive Mark Zuckerberg was defiant. He has suffered no worse outcome than following the GPS in his own car into the San Francisco Bay, after instructing it to find a Subway while avoiding tolls, such as those on bridges. Zuckerberg insisted he has never followed artificial intelligence into a war zone, and stressed that Google was not liable for the minor product malfunction, as it comes "out-of-the-box" with an option to prevent routes marked as dangerous, or only suitable for boats. He said the Israeli soldiers disabled this feature, as they thought they were well able to handle hunting down fast food outlets.

Zuckerberg further noted that there are big red road signs on the entrances to the Palestinian refugee camp saying not only was it dangerous but had nothing better than a KFC on site, and "Waze" cannot be blamed if the driver had his nose on the computer screen rather than focused on the road.

The two soldiers were later recovered, peckish but unharmed. So was Waze, who will be debriefed in an attempt to acquire further details on the incident.

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