UnNews:Martians opposed to latest invasion from Earth
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|Martians opposed to latest invasion from Earth|
25 February 2021
MARS, Solar System -- Angry Martians are demanding their government stop letting Earth dump its latest technology on their planet's surface. This follows the recent landing of NASA and Amazon's latest self-driving golf buggy Perseverance to join other rubbish sent to Mars from Earth. Many Martians said that the Earthlings were treating them like second-class Solar System citizens. They get enough of that from Jupiter.
"We're fed up with all this foreign garbage, disfiguring our landscape," said one Martian, who appeared to be talking out of an orifice located near his anus. "Ever since NASA and the Soviet Union started to send their crap pollution machines about 50 years ago, we have just hidden under rocks or deep inside caves until the danger passed. But now NASA started sending machines that are criss-crossing our planet without any regard for private property, we Martians are now saying, leave or get invaded."
Martian leader Ziggy Smakk'Ed, an animal shaped like a mushroom, appeared on Martian television to issue a stern warning to Earth. He sent a telepathic message to the most powerful person on that planet, but said Elon Musk had failed to respond. Until they heard from Supreme Being Musk, Martians were encouraged to sabotage any Earth-branded vehicles they find.
Smakk'Ed added, "Our scientists are working on a new wall to stop the Earthlings. It will be built in space and will create a hostile force field to prevent any more Earth stuff trespassing our red and rocky lands. Go, intruders! and take your transplanetary caravans with you!"
Besides NASA. China, India and the European Union have various satellites either in an orbit round Mars or are on their way. The Martians may take their complaints about Earth to the United Plants of the Solar System for an adjudication. Mars has received support from Venus and Saturn.
- Staff "Mars video reveals Perseverance rover’s daring touchdown". Nature, February 25, 2021