UnNews:Murdoch signs blank cookbook

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Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard ✪ UnNews ✪ Saturday, April 27, 2024, 03:16:59 (UTC)
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9 May 2017

The Star Wars character Darth Sideous is said to be based on Rupert Murdoch

NEW YORK CITY, New York –– As Ofcom continue to investigate as to whether Rupert Murdoch's 21st Century Fox can legally take over Sky, BBC journalist Amor Rajan managed to snag a chance interview with the reclusive Australian at a book signing event in New York to discuss his future plans for the Sky take over.

"We'll have to wait and see what Ofcom say won't we." he quipped as he continued signing a stack of blank hardback books; "But let's not talk about that son, let's talk about my latest cookbook: Chef Murdoch. It's already a best seller here in New York." Despite there being no evidence of Murdoch publishing an actual cookbook, he continued to promote Chef Murdoch ignoring Rajan's questioning: "I never knew I had it in me. I love to eat and I love to cook, but I just never knew how popular my recipes would be. If only I'd have known earlier; I'd have written hundreds of books by now instead of just seven."

Despite trying to buy the BBC 18 times over his long career, Murdoch still hasn't given up hope of owning the media giant: "If I'd have done all this years ago I'd be as popular as that old bird off that show of yours. What's it called? The British Bake Off or something? I could do the American version through Sky, should that corrupt Ofcom lot let me. If they don't I'll just put another bid in for the BBC, buy it and then replace her with myself. Imagine it. It'll be amazing. Ratings through the roof. 'Mary Murdoch wins TV BAFTA'."

Giddy with excitement, Murdoch focused back to his blank book signing before unexpectedly bellowing: "Mary loves cheesecake!" at a surprised Rajan. Murdoch is known for blurting out his opinions randomly and aggressively since suffering a brain haemorrhage in 1968 after falling off his motorcycle in the Australian outback.

After a silent pause Murdoch began yammering to himself: "I'm doing toad in the hole next. Toad in the hole mate. That's what's next! It's delicious. Call me Mary." Undeterred by the outbursts, Rajan continued: "Thank you for talking about your new cookbook Mr Murdoch, but could I ask you again about your proposed future plans for Sky should you be allowed to take over the company?" Murdoch put his pen down and stared Rajan in the eye: "Toad in the hole." he calmly replied.

Murdoch has never written or published any cookbooks. The reason as to why he was signing blank books in New York is still unknown.

Sources[edit]

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