UnNews:North Korea shuts down key cookie factory

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17 July 2007

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Workers at the Yongbyon enriched cookie facility

YONGBYON, North Korea -- The United States confirmed yesterday that North Korea had closed its controversial Yongbyon factory in a first step towards ridding the Communist state of enriched cookie production facilities.

Enriched cookies, unlike the plain variety, contain high levels of butter, sugar and saturated fat.

Growing concern over the levels of Korean cookie exports to the USA, where they are a major cause of obesity and heart disease, have increased pressure on the secretive North Korean government to limit production.

But Steven Hadley, the U.S. National Obesity Advisor said "we have concerns that they may have a [covert] enrichment program."

The shutdown coincided with a visit from a 10-strong team of inspectors from the UN’s International Cake and Cookie Authority (ICACA).

Members of the Interweb community remain silent as the possibility of a dearth in cookie enrichment looms on the horizon. A somber Silent Bob, acclaimed CEO of Nabisco , told UnNews, "It is a fact that MS Windows users have the option of turning their cookies "on" and "off" at their command. Imagine if Stalinist cookie enrichment technology were to fall into the hands a group of deranged, cocaine-driven hackers with the ability to perform complex mathematical operations in their heads."

UnNews staff continue to ponder what the Hell Silent Bob meant by that.