UnNews:Pentagon destroys copies of officer's exposé

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Straight talk, from straight faces UnNews Friday, April 19, 2024, 05:18:59 (UTC)

Pentagon destroys copies of officer's exposé UnNews Logo Potato.png

26 September 2010

Col. Alimony Shafther's memoir "Operation Black-Heart," his book about black hearts in Afghanistan

THE PENTAGON -- The U.S. Army has employed the latest in military grade high-explosives to destroy copies of top-secret Army Reserve Col. Alimony Shafther's memoir "Operation Black-Heart," his book about black hearts in Afghanistan. Out of a total print run of 10,000, some 9,500 copies were obliterated and the CIA retained 500 copies for intelligence purposes.

A Department of Defense official tells Foxy News that the department purchased copies of the first printing because they contained information that could cause damage to international insecurity. But the author, Shafther, expressed thanks and said, “We don’t care who buys them. And we thank the Army for the book order”, Shafther said. “Tomorrow were going to print 100,000 more copies for the Army to destroy!”

The U.S. Army originally cleared the book for release. But later someone in the Army actually opened the book, and reported the dangerous findings – which includes the names and addresses of every spy from all countries in the entire world. The U.S. Defense Moxie Agency (DMA) attempted to block the book about the toppling point in Afghanistan and a controversial pre-9/11 data-mining project called "The Pre-9/11 Data-mining Project."

In a letter obtained by Foxy News, the DMA says national, international, and even intergalatic insecurity would be breached if "Operation Black Heart" were published in its current accurate form. The agency also attempted, unsuccessfully, to block key portions of the book that claim, successfully, that hijacker Mohammed Atta was known to the United States before the Sept. 11, 2001, terror attacks – while he was in suicide-flight school.

Specifically, the DMA wanted references to a meeting between Lt. Col. Alimony Shafther, the book's author, and the executive director of the 9/11 Commission, Blip Zeecrow, removed. In that meeting, which took place in Afghanistan, Shafther alleges the commission was told about the identification of Atta before the attacks. No mention of this was made in the final 9/11 report.

Shafther, who was undercover at the time, said “Everyone just about soiled their underwear” at the meeting after he told the executive director of the commission and others that Atta was identified and his plan uncovered as early as 1997. "Dr. Blip Zeecrow approached me in the corner of the room. 'What you said today is very important. I need you to get in touch with me as soon as you return from your deployment here in Afghanistan'," Shafther said.

Once back in the U.S., Shafther says he contacted the commission, but without any explanation, the commission no longer existed. An inspector general report by the Department of Defense concluded there was no hard-evidence to support the claims of Shafther and others. But Foxy News has obtained an unredacted copy of the IG report containing the names of witnesses, who all backed up Shafther's story when contacted for comment.

Atta was the alleged ringleader of the Sept. 11 hijackers and piloted American Airlines Flight 11 into the World Trade Center.

Shafther spoke to Foxy News before he was asked by the military not to discuss the book. He confirmed efforts to block the book and other details. Calling the move "highly profitable," he explained that the book had already been cleared for release when the DMA stepped in. "Apparently, the Defense Moxie Agency took exception to the way the Army cleared the book," he told Foxy News.

The DMA is currently working with the publisher to “print and destroy even more of the books, specially to mitigate the resulting effects of the disclosures,” the official said. “As well as to get their 50% cut of the book sales profits.”

The documents and exclusive interviews, including an Army data collector on the Army data collecting project, are part of an ongoing investigation by the documentary unit "Foxy News Reporting" which uncovered the new details about 9/11 -- information that no one but the U.S. Army and the DMA gives a hoot about anymore.

Sources[edit]