UnNews:Prince Andrew is sent to the Tower

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Straight talk, from straight faces UnNews Sunday, June 13, 2021, 02:57:59 (UTC)

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27 November 2019

Prince Andrew. Stripped of everything including trousers

LONDON, United Kingdom -- Prince Andrew has been sent to the Tower of London to await 'further punishment,' a dramatic twist that suggests that his attempts to whitewash his relationship with Jeffrey Epstein has backfired.

The Prince, also known as the Duke of York, underwent the traditional 'Degradation Ceremony' at Buckingham Palace, where he was forced to strip down to his boxer shorts in the main courtyard. Prince Andrew was forced to divest of his various honours - and trousers - in front of a Royal Tribunal consisting of Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Charles. The treatment would have been similar to that which Andrew allegedly gave to several comely young confederates of Epstein. He was then shackled in chains and taken by helicopter to the Tower of London, for his own safety.

Prince Andrew is mud right now, said Uncyclopedia News' Royal Correspondent Sir Toady of Fawnsly. This is the greatest royal scandal since the days of Princess Diana. Prince Andrew will be incarcerated in the Bloody Mess Tower for now. What happens to him then is up to the Queen and not Parliament. In the past, unwanted royals were beheaded or drowned in barrels of wine. Andrew will be lucky to escape that fate.

Prince Andrew's current home address. The Bloody Mess Tower.

Prince Andrew has denied all the accusations but remains in the Tower of London. His imprisonment there has been a lucrative money-spinner for Tower custodians, who collect fees from people who want to see the Prince or throw rotten fruit at him.