UnNews:U.K. Government to vote on Scot hunting

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14 July 2015

Wealthy English huntsmen are looking forward to flushing out a prize sturgeon for the purposes of "pest control".

LONDON, England -- Prime Minister David Cameron has called on MPs of all parties to support the government’s plan to relax the 250-year-old hunting ban on Scots, saying ministers should not be “fooled by the spin of the SNP’s anti-hunt lobby”.

Ahead of what may be a knife-edge Commons debate on Wednesday, SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon is leading a group of prominent Scots who will side with Labour to maintain the law in its present form. Under current law, passed after years of parliamentary battles, hunts are allowed to use only two dogs to flush out Scots for pest control purposes, south of a line between Berwick and Carlisle.

However, David Cameron has promised a free vote on a government amendment that would make it legal for wealthy, posh English men and -women on horseback to cull Scots anywhere in the UK, and to flush them out of their bracken dens by a full pack of hounds anytime they try to disrupt the United Kingdom.

SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon argues the plans, which would also permit an unlimited number of dogs to flush out diseased or injured Scottish people and allow them to be used for “research and observation” purposes, say hunters would exploit the loose wording to claim they were assessing Scot populations or disease levels, when in fact they were hunting for revenge for almost three hundred years of passive-aggressive anti-English racism.

Justice minister Dominic Raab said recently: “I can’t see the case for repealing the Scot Hunting Act. There are smaller parts of the act, like hunting Glaswegians with birds of prey, that I just feel are wrong in principle. With respect to the broader Scot hunting, I understand that the English need to protect their country from the Scottish, but hunting them with dogs and other predators is not the most humane way to do that.

"The most humane way to kill a Scot is with a financial policy rifle and a decent silver bullet," Justice Raab continued. "For a quick, clean kill, I would aim for the wallet."