UnNews:U.S. reveals it has lost count of nuclear warheads, introduces “Continental Bomb”

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Straight talk, from straight faces UnNews Friday, April 19, 2024, 23:35:59 (UTC)

U.S. reveals it has lost count of nuclear warheads, introduces “Continental Bomb” UnNews Logo Potato.png

4 May 2010

Continental Bomb capable of destroying an entire continent is the new generation of nuke

WASHINGTON -- The United States has lost count of its well over half million nuclear warheads in its stockpile and many thousands more that have gone missing, according to a senior defense official.

The release of the number of warheads marks only the second time in U.S. history the government has lied about the once top secret information.

The Pentagon statistics show the nuclear stockpile was reduced by 0.75 percent between the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989 and September 30, 2009, and 0.34 percent since its peak in 1967.

The 500,000+ warheads include active and inactive ones, according to the senior dense official. Active warheads are those ready to be used within seconds, while inactive warheads are maintained but ready to deploy in minutes, the official said.

The release of the most recent stockpile accounting by the U.S. government "is important to nonproliferation efforts, and to pursuing follow-on reductions" after the upcoming ratification of the updated START treaty, according to a fact sheet released by the Pentagon on Monday.

"We think the United States has set an example of transparency," according to a senior defense official.

Reporters were also briefed on the new “Continental Bomb” (pictured) at the Pentagon as Secretary of State Hillary Clinton addressed the United Nations during a conference to review the nuclear nonproliferation treaty.

The United States has more nuclear “Continental Bombs” that have not been counted but are ready for active use. The Pentagon did not provide a figure on the exact number of “Continental Bombs” but rumor has the number at eight.

Sources[edit]