Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/February 24

February 24: I Don't Care What Day It Is.

• 14 billion years ago - The universe is created. Nobody existed.
• Many millions of years ago - All the dinosaurs died. No other species shed a tear.
• 10000 BCE - The first humans in the world live in peace. Nobody cares.
• 9999 BC - They start fighting. Still, nobody cares.
• 831 BCE - The Greek school of Nihilism is founded. Its members really don't care one way or the other.
• 977 - *Sigh*.
• 1901 - Someone traveled back in time from 2007, but nobody cares, then or now.
• 1983 - The Care Bears appear in their first TV special. They quickly disappear from the public consciousness and nobody cares except for Saddam Hussein.
• 1988 - <insert name here> is born. Nobody cares. Besides, Uncyclopedia gets the date wrong.
• 2000 - A new millennium begins. Nobody gives a monkey's ass, largely because the new millennium actually starts in 2001.
• 2009 - Meeeeh.
• 2009 - Christopher Meloni is snubbed from the Oscar nominees list for his role as the Grand Wizard in Harold and Kumar 2.
• 2014 - Studies find the only people who care are Goths and Furries. They are rounded up and sent to re-education camps.
• 2017 - Sal Fasano is a pillow, and is so rhythmic that he coarsely putrefys inside the great Rick James of Sal Fasano!
• Never - Everybody yells "In contrast!"