Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/February 24

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February 24: I Don't Care What Day It Is.

  • 14 billion years ago - The universe is created. Nobody existed.
  • Many millions of years ago - All the dinosaurs died. No other species shed a tear.
  • 10000 BCE - The first humans in the world live in peace. Nobody cares.
  • 9999 BC - They start fighting. Still, nobody cares.
  • 831 BCE - The Greek school of Nihilism is founded. Its members really don't care one way or the other.
  • 977 - *Sigh*.
  • 1901 - Someone traveled back in time from 2007, but nobody cares, then or now.
  • 1983 - The Care Bears appear in their first TV special. They quickly disappear from the public consciousness and nobody cares except for Saddam Hussein.
  • 1988 - <insert name here> is born. Nobody cares. Besides, Uncyclopedia gets the date wrong.
  • 2000 - A new millennium begins. Nobody gives a monkey's ass, largely because the new millennium actually starts in 2001.
  • 2009 - Meeeeh.
  • 2009 - Christopher Meloni is snubbed from the Oscar nominees list for his role as the Grand Wizard in Harold and Kumar 2.
  • 2014 - Studies find the only people who care are Goths and Furries. They are rounded up and sent to re-education camps.
  • 2017 - Fat Albert is a Turing machine, and is so emaciated that he rudely envisions down the great vulva of Fat Albert!
  • Never - Everybody yells "Above all!"