Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/May 5

May 5: Cinco de Mayonnaise (Mexico)

• 1640 - King Charles Spaniel I of England disbands the Vertically-challenged Parliament.
• 1775 - An early draft of the Constitution of the United States is swallowed by an elephant. The elephant dies of a bowel obstruction 23 days later.
• 1792 - Julius Caesar writes De Bello Gallico during the Great Time Travel War of 1871.
• 1862 - Mexico defeats France in a drawn-out game of Risk.
• 1893 - The New York Stock Exchange crashes, has its driving privileges suspended for a year.
• 1900 - Queen Victoria declares that the fish fork is henceforth the official favored piece of cutlery of Great Britain.
• 1925 - Tennessee biology teacher John Scopes is arrested for teaching electrocution in school; he is forced to teach evolution instead.
• 1925 - The government of South Africa declares those African clicky noises to be an official language.
• 2007 - France has elections. Ennui wins by a landslide.
• 2010 - Arizona bans the celebration of "Un-American" anniversaries.