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Welcome to the Undictionary, an ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z *

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Ocarina

A thin bronze and glass musical instrument of West African origin, played by blowing along the bass strings and down the treble strings, while clapping the little bells over your forehead. The haunting sound is said to resemble a yeti giving birth. From the Arabic uqrûn 'put it away'. Also, if used properly, can be used for time travel.

O'Christ

The Irish equivalent of Jesus. He is famous for banishing all the snakes from Ireland and uninventing the condom. At times of immense personal crisis, people all over the world offer up prayers to O'Christ, who ignores them as he is a miserable old sod.

Octave

An Octave is a measure of the combustibility of a piece of music. It is a rather strong unit - one Octave is capable of destroying an entire planet.

Octarine

The colour of magic. It's a sort of... flourescent greenish yellowish purple.

Octocock

1. The male species of an octopus. A group of octocock is commonly known as Octocock-ti, not to be confused with the name for the female of the species. (See below.)

Octococktease

1. The female species of an octopus.

Octopi

1. A group of 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971... octo's (octo's are a short name for octopus.

2. An Octopus pie, usually made with mammals other than octo's

3. A pie with eight slices.

4. 8th-dimensional Pi ($\Pi$) which is illegal in Egypt.

Octopus

1. An 8-legged creature that can be found in your mum's cabinet

2. Slang for someone that has 8 ballsacks

3. Slang for an old fuck

4. A vicious dildo

5. Red scars you get on your vagina

6. White pus you get over your dick. Congratulations! Your dick is having babies!

7. A word for a gay when he's holding a dildo

8. Slang for a dog

9. A sea creature

10. Another name for Cannibal Corpse's album "Eating Breakfast is Life"

11. A slang for a red neck

12. A slang for a 8-legged spider... Wait 2 seconds

13. A slang for a cock

14. Your mum

15. your grandma :(

Offa's Dyke

• 1. Military defensive ditch between Wales and England.
• 2. An Anglo-Saxon King who had a Court Lesbian in residence.

Offal

1. The usually inedibale parts of farm animals, which have become de rigeur delicacies of arty-farty expensive restaurants, previously associated with the peasant and lower classes, who delighted in their consumption because they were cheap or free ( the offal, not the peasants) as opposed to priceless. The word is just an illiterate peasant's spelling of awful, which tripe certainly is, believe me I've tried to eat it and couldn't get it near my mouth !!! <p\> 2. A Scottish word meaning "very bad"

Offshoring

Offshoring is the process whereby a western company identifies its most valuable and visible customer facing roles, makes the competant and respected employees in these roles redundant before employing unintelligable foreigners to do the same job badly.

Oh God ! I'm Coming !!

The follow up gospel inspired song to Sam and Dave's earlier hit 'Hold On I'm Coming'. See also 'Coming and Going'.

Ohlin, Yngve

A nonfamous (not infamous mind you) rocker whose nickname was dead. Now dead is dead making him dead dead. If his name was sexy, (which would be a very good rocker name), he would be dead sexy and not just dead. This would also make his the only sexy dead person, not counting those who were sexy whilst alive.

Oink

The sound a pig makes when you steal it from somebody. People may ask why, but like the name suggests, Y doesn't come into it.

Old Faithful

• 1.Old Faithful was originally believed to be a water fountain for bears. After years of research, we discovered that bears can't drink water. Currently, we do not know what bears drink. Nobody is actually sure why Old Faithful is named as such. We assume it was named for the horse of whoever discovered it.
• 2.Pet name for sex organs.
• 3.Pet Name for Pets.

Ol' Bessie

The famous old service revolver that once belonged to Hitler, Soviet Union, and those Commie bastards. Contrary to popular belief, she is not a M1898 Rast and Gasset, but a FGM - 148 Javelin. [1]

Olfactory

An ancient building where manufacturing activities took place

Omfg

Omfg (pronounced ahmfg) is the noise that comes out when you stomp on a teenager's head while he is using an instant messenger program. It is made when a large amount of air is forced out of the two small openings on the face called nostrils. It is rare for anything to actually spill out of the teenager's head due to the fact that they spend their time listening to crappy music and "rebelling" against society with their Che shirts and spiked bracelets and Hot Topic clothes.

Omnidirectional

The act of having sex with every species in the world in the same position. A person engaging in such acts is known as an Unosexual, which, contrary to popular belief, is not someone who just has sex with him/herself. (See also Omnisexual)

Omniphobia

The fear of AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Omnipotence

Occurs frequently in adolescent males. Signified by a constant erection.

Omnisexual

Someone who has sex with every species in the world at the same time.

Onan

• 1.An Arabic state also known as Oman if you hit the wrong key,
• 2.A Biblical sinner condemned by God for cracking off alone instead of impregnating.
• 3. Also spelt 'Oh , Nan !' - catching your grandparents doing something you only thought young people did it.

Onanist

Also called the hand jive.

Oncology

The study of being on call. An Engineer's immediate supervisor is an oncologist.

One-night stand

A one night stand is an ancient Pilgrimage to repent for your sins. To complete this pilgrimage you must stand in a pile of dung in the holy lands, under a full moon, from sunset till sunrise. You may not move, blink, fall asleep, or think 'impure' thoughts. This pilgrimage was developed in medieval times, by Saint Anon.

Onion, The

1. An Internet comedy news page which the Uncyclopedia is nothing at all like. Honest. The Uncyclopedia prides itself on being the Un-Onion. 2. Extra number 3, after The Celery and The Potato in most childrens health plays.

Onomatopoeia

Having a slash/piddle in the dark on a small mat

Onory Bachelor of Education

The 'Onory Bachelor of Education (or OBE) is an award given to students as recognition of their time spent trying to get out of the pub and into the university where they are studying.

The OBE usually takes about 15 years of study, with time off for good behaviour and bonus points for getting into a different university or pub.

Oof

A sound made by people suffering from an unexpected blow to the abdomen

Ooffee!

 Demand by anyone who requires Coffee first thing in the morning to function before actually drinking a cup of said substance.

Ook

The quality or incredible stupidity of being able to say ook. Often used by apes as a form of comunication. For Example I often hear; "OOK,OOOOOOk oook ok oook ookk ooooook, oook oook ook?" English translation: "Hello, fellow citizen, how are you on this fine day?"

Or, "Get your foot out of my ear."

Or, "Die, you bastard, die!"

Oompa-Loompa

1. Word used to describe idiotic highschool girls, who feel the need to spray paint themselves orange in order to be accepted within society.

Open

O' pen (n), Ode to the vandal's pen (or, Oh, Pen).:

O' pen, thou who art mighter than the sword,

Tell us, why, doth those who're bored,

Come here hither, to try deface her?

Showing the strongest, is our eraser!

OpenJesus

OpenJesus emerged as a popular figure during the war between Microsoft and Apple around the beginning of the 20th century. OpenJesus was known for spreading a message of sharing, working together, and alternative applications. Strangely, there are no plans by OpenJesus's creator company, Anonymous Anointed Applications, for Cross-platform support. Home Depot has announced intentions however of donating lumber for this purpose as part of its Trees for Jeez program.

Opiate Unicorns

A salted snack derived from poppies, often used by Wiccans to control the minds of small children. Created by Rachel Wattermann and made in large iron cauldrons, they contain blood from actual unicorns and taste like Oreos.

Opinion poll

A modern successor to the medieval Tarot deck. One day, opinion polls may yet succeed in matching the reliability of Tarot decks.

Opoxy

The state of having an abnormally large penis and using it to kill ducks.

Oppose

The only word that does not link to anything in the overlinking page.

Opposite

Not the opposite of opposite. That would be silly.

Oprahism

Oprahism is the act of watching or attending all the Oprah shows, purchasing all the DVD or videocassettes of her shows, and going to her site daily. Many people are practicing Oprahism, and many of them have gone insane. Scientists have proven that over six billion people believe in Oprahism. Indeed, people love Oprahism so much that they are out on the streets protesting that Ophrah should have her own church. Oprahism is populated mainly around the areas of Iraq and Montreal.

Oprahtitis

A congenital disorder which causes the sufferer to attempt to attain divinity by being black and inspirational.

Or

Or is the twenty-seventh letter of the alphabet. Used only in the Irish language, where it is a replacement for R. For example, the national broadcaster in Ireland is called Or-T-E.

Oral Sex

The shape a couple make with their mouths and lips to indicate that it time to move onto position number 69.

Oral Tradition

A claim made by someone who has lost all the relevant documents and is trying to wing it.

Oralist

Someone who can only communicate emotion via the genitals.

Orange biscuits

A "slang" term, meaning one's testicles are extremely hot.

Organ

Musical instrument shaped like human genitals.

Organ Player

Watching someone else having sex in church.

Organic

Rotten food not fit for animal but relabelled and overpriced for pretentious eaters.

Org-asm

What happens when a company gets excited about new business prospects.

Orgasm

An orgasm is a musical instrument similar to the piano and mostly played by men, although some rare cases of female orgasmists are known. An animal.

ORH!!1!

ORH!!1! [orh] –interjection 1. (an exclamation of approval, wonder, pleasure, or the like): ORH!!1! Look at that! –verb (used with object)

Oriental

Detail from a rug of east Asian descent

The term Oriental is considered extremely ofcghdfghcdffensive, except in cases where it's not.

Its use should be avoided except in the following contexts:

• Describing things that orient other things ("The Space Shuttle commander is firing the oriental jets to maneuver the orbiter into docking position")
• Quentin Tarantino

Orc chasm

To yell "orc chasm" in front of your health teacher and the whole school.

Orifice

Popular TV series which was set in the offices of a Slough paper merchant.

Orphan

1. A small kid who has murdered his or her parents at birth.
2. A type of musical instrument originated from the organ.

Osama's Epitaph

Osama, its Allah you nit, I've come to raise you a bit. In paradise you'll recline, given care, oh so divine, by a virgin whose surname's Lin Bobbit

Osama's Ass

Osama's Ass after a travel incident.

The most important of the great Osama Bin Laden's vehicles. It allows him to travel through Kalashnikov-wielding enemies of Freedom and barren cratered landscapes without getting his dancing shoes scuffed. See also: Osama's Llama

Osmosis

The little known Australian holy man who brought down 10 cases of lager after meeting God on Mount Sinai. Also known as 'Ozmoses' - the Bringer of Amber Nectar Fluids.

Osprey

1. Word of the day on February 16, 2006

2. The last part of a phrase often spoken by a preacher, preceded by "Let"

Osteopath

A path laid out in a bent bone design.

Osteopornosis

A degenerate disease.

Ostracise

Exercise classes run by or for ostriches

Ostrogothise

Banning unwanted Goths in Italy.

Otakus

1. Group of Otaku

2. photographic cameras made by illegal chinnease inmmigrants

Other

The category to select when your opinions are too weird for social norms

Otis Daye

see Daye, Otis

Oughts

A name for the decade beginning in 2001; as in "The Oughts are so 9-12!"

Oust!

To Oust! something is to get rid of a bad odour altogether, as opposed to covering one up. If you've got a horrible smell in your house, then please, for the sake of smelling nice, Oust! it. Please? Thankyou.

Outer space

Not to be confused with Inner Space (which was a terrible film starring Dennis Quaid and Meg Ryan), outer space is what you are when your hard drive has too much porn on it.

Oversight

Establishes the closely associated relationship between supervision/management and failure to notice something/omission.

Owa Tagoo Fiam

Magical words that if you say them fast enough you will become a Grue!

Owiueuowihgew

The notion that everything is googlable.

Etymology: random collusion of letters largely assembled from the top row on a standard keyboard, with a quick detour to the second row before finishing back on the top row. Alternatively it might derive from the Norwegian phrase "Au, i evighed" ["Ouch, in eternity"] – often spoken in attempt to soften the pain of having a bible dropped on ones bare foot without actually cursing.

OWWWWWWWWW!

The correct response to a mad scientist ramming a Grue up your nose; while moaning the world is going to end.

Oxen

The short form of oxygen.

Mostly used in tight situations when you're running out of oxygen, in order to save oxygen. For example: "Fucking hell, I've got hardly any oxen left..." is far easier to say than "Fucking hell, i'm running out of oxygen. Much more time under the ice and i'll probably drow........."

Oxidizing agent

Term used for a CIA operative who covertly travels the Rust Belt spraying victims with gusts of Oxy-Clean

Oxymoron

1. A person (usually male or female) who is so stupid that they frequently forget how to breathe.
2. A moron who has been oxygenated. Highly oxygenated morons are volatile and should be safely stored and transported according to USDOT Explosive B regulations.

Ozone layer

The mysterious, non-existant land where Hungarian pop group O-Zone come from.

Where babies come from.

The area where clueless people are standing when they go "oh" when enlightened.