Leonard Nimoy
“I am not Leonard Nimoy.”
“I am Leonard Nimoy.”
“Aaaahh,Good Times...Good Times.”
“Bilbo, Bilbo, Bilbo Baggins.”
“I am Black Leonard Nimoy. I'll take my fingers and shove em in your face all Vulcan style. I'll moon walk all over your ass. I fornicate with Lt. Uhura on a regular basis. My science is impregnable, my weird ass ears are like razor blades. What the hell am I talking about? I don't even watch Battle Star Galaxia. I do fornicate with Lt. Uhura though.”
Famous Vulcan Leonard Nimoy was originally the leader of the principality of Rochdale, until he left to build Sri Lanka. During this time, he left Black Jesus in charge. The liberal policies of Black Jesus meant that when Nimoy returned, the people of Rochdale were ill-disposed to his despotic rule and deposed him, exhausting the supply of words beginning in the letter D in Rochdale for all history. The English majors were furious, but the ruggies were incredibly relieved and stuff. They couldn't like be arrested now, 'cause they weren't really real. Like whoa, man!
Leonard Nimoy is also very well known for his sexy legs (as noted by Shatner).
With the release of "Transformers: Dark of the Moon" and the "Star Trek" reboot, Leonard Nimoy is just generally happy to be working and milking the fame that a 40 year old character has brought him, though he emphatically denies it.
Nimoy spawned the incredibly popular spin-off, Tony Blair. He was an incredibly versatile and memorable actor, well-known for his many brilliant roles on television and on the silver screen, the list of which anyone would be jealous of:
- Galvatron in Transformers:The Movie
- The father of that one guy with the ears on Voyager: THE SPINOFF OF ALL SPINOFF SHOWS!
- That guy on that one show with the aliens and the lasers......Lost in Space?
- That creepy guy in the Brave New World movie in 1984
- opposite William Shatner in many commercials.
Recently, there was some unrest in the Jewish community (where Jews routinely plot their plots) over his controversial photography book which featured barely clad women and traditional Jewishy stuff such as a tallit (striped shawl used by Jews to look good for the Flying Spaghetti Monster) and tefillin (box and strap thingy with scroll inside to wear on head and arm and look religious). Women aren't even supposed to read from the Torah (scroll thingies) and they certainly can't be naked AND religious at the same time.
Poet-Singer-Songwriter Alter-Ego[edit]
There was a time in Leonard's life that he got "tired of banging all these green bitches all the time!" and decided to pack up and move to Montreal. This was a strategic move as Montreal is home to the most promiscuous women in all of North America. There he developed his Jewy-Frenchy-Canuck-sex-god-poet-singer-songwriter alter-ego Leonard Cohen. "It is always nice to be able to switch back and forth from time to time" Leonard says.
Awards[edit]
- Nimoy was honored in February 24, 1582 when Pope Gregory XIII renamed the year's tenth month after him: Spocktober. An annual festival—Spocktoberfest—is still celebrated in his honor in many locals in Germany.
- Nimoy has been awarded numerous Golden Globes and Tony Awards, but since these are the spleens of awards, they can't really count.
- Nimoy won a Nobel Prize for his work with the Ellbow vagina
- In 2143 Nimoy gained the entry into the Guinness Book of Records, for not only having the most botox surgery ever undergone, but also for being the worlds largest garden gnome.
- Nimoy has been awarded with The One Ring by king Aragorn, for his song "The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins"
Trivia[edit]
- If he had a hammer he would hammer in the morning, he would hammer in the evening, he would hammer all day. Luckily, he is forbidden by law to own a hammer, due to an unfortunate incident in 1968 involving Pete Seeger and Ed Asner.
- Nimoy was a United Spades President in the 29th century
- Nottingham Forest season ticket holder throughout time
- Nimoy has repeatedly faked his own death to collect insurance policies. When they knock on his door, he calmly replies, "I am Spock."
- Not many people know that Leonard Nimoy used to keep William Shatner as a pet at home. People found it funny,"... but I'm on your side, Bill. It was funny".
- In the year two thousand and something, Nimoy fused with his younger self and kicked Captain Kirk's ass. Nimoy's left the scene, muttering something imperceptible about how "that kiss" was supposed to be his.
Where is he now[edit]
- Still milking the fame brought on by Zachary Quinto and actively sabotaging William Shatner's cameo on future "Star Trek" projects.
Film directors of the world 