Northeast United States

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New England, a subregion of the Northeast.

The Northeast United States (also known as the Northeast or the North) is by far the most compassionate and accepting region in the United States, prided as being a (largely racially-homogenous majority-white) haven for minorities and strong sports teams throughout the ages. Northerners are known as yankees because they dance to "Yankee Doodle", and cheer on the New York Yankees in baseball.


Unlike certain other impoverished regions, the Northeast has taken to such progressive issues such as keeping Apple Inc. afloat by purchasing an overpriced laptop for every student. Unlike the South, the Northeast's economy is moreso industrial-reliant than agricultural. Despite its affluence and racial homogeneity, however, this region has a much higher suicide rate than other regions of the United States. Whoops.


States typically included in the Northeast are Connectthedots Connecticut, Maine, Pikachusetts Massachusetts, Holyoke, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, and Vermont. Border states that waffle (house) between sometimes-Northeastern and sometimes-Southern are Delaware, Maryland, Virginia (particularly NoVA), and Washington, D.C. (technically not a state, but you get the idea). The Northeast includes the subregion of New England (Connecticut to Maine), where accents are thick as chowdah, and overlaps with the Mid-Atlantic (typically Virginia to New York), which is not in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.


Typified by chilly, hurricane-free weather, this region is able to keep itself afloat (unlike New Orleans), thank you very much.


Unlike others where inept leaders lead national disasters to become exentuiated by mismanagement, the responsible leadership of the states here never finds itself caught up in scandal due to the total lack of Republican leadership. Indeed, the affluence of this region is largely a reflection of the liberals' near-complete control. The Northeast has produced a lucky total of thirteen U.S. Presidents.