Thighland

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Welcome to Thighland!

Thighland is an Asian country that is somewhere near Napalmland and Genocidia and just the corner from Vindaloo. It's a monarchy ruled by King Rama-Lama-Ding-Dong XXI. It's main export is spicy food, made especially hot for Europeans. Imports include latex, rubber, whips and chains to cater for single male tourists looking for a good time, legal or illegal.

The locals call themselves the 'Thighs', though some religious experts believe they are one of the lost tribes of Israel as they speak Yo!-Semite. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo has called Thighland one of 'America's greatest allies.'

History[edit]

The Thigh people are related to the Tummies of Tibet and the Leggies who now live in Indonesia. They are a proud people who managed to evade the imperialism of both Great Britain and France. The country was occupied by the Japanese in the Second World War. Rama-Lama-Ding-Dong's grandfather King My-Ding-A-Ling was said to have been 'very accommodating'.

Thighland's capital isn't Sukcok, that's just a terrible internet meme. It is in fact Konjoin-Hyp, named after the famous Thighland twin brothers Ben and Jerry. And you thought they were American?

The men of Thighland are not so well regarded, though they are the champions when it comes to box kicking. However, their womenfolk achieved great fame as the mistresses of physical gratification. The well known female Dutch sex tourist Emmanuelle learnt her craft in the country's great cities and brought them back to the West. This lead to a migration of many Europeans and quite a few Americans and Canadians to Thighland eager to learn both the martial arts and sexual acts.

The Thigh and I[edit]

Natives dancing.

Earlier generations of Westerners had been brought up on the legend of The Thigh and the Och Aye! This had told the story of Mongnutz, King of a Thighland. He was a Divine Thigh who order a head chop here and a hand amputation there if someone displeased him. Mongnutz also acquired a taste for everything Scottish including haggis, shortbread and whisky - all served in the same bowl if possible.

Mongnutz's culinary and cultural guide for all things tartan was Anne 'Annie' Lennox from Eurthymicshire, Scotland. She was also Mongnutz's nanny and taught him English with a broad Glaswegian accent. It is a tale without a romantic ending. They didn't elope as he was a Thigh and she was strictly a ginger nuts fan. So marriage was ruled out.

The story was popular in Europe as it treated Thighland as a quaint little country, in much the way the British musical duo Gilbert & Sullivan had portrayed Japan in The Mikado. It was made into a film as 'The Thigh and I'. In Thighland they objected to the depiction of their king as an imbecile and so it has never been officially released there.

End of Obscurity[edit]

Since this musical, Thighland has tried to sell itself as a tropical paradise and a place to build factories with very cheap workforce who can under cut the Chinese. This latter fact received the attention of President Donald Trump who is looking for economic and military allies in the region. In a speech that was also translated into Yo!-Semite for the watching millions in Thighland, Trump praised the dynamic people of the country. He did check with his cultural attache and ex-jailbird Dinesh D'Souza who assured Trump that Thighland wasn't that other place called Thailand as the latter was a fake country.

Thighland now hopes to join a growing roster of countries now said to be keen to receive American goods. They include Arslikistan, Nambia and Narnia.