UnNews:Han Solo awareness-training fails

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A newsstand that's brimming with issues UnNews Wednesday, September 23, 2020, 11:49:59 (UTC)

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30 April 2020

This reporter mis-heard the publicist (pictured), but people around him seem to know what he is saying no matter what blares he emits.

HAWTHORNE, California -- Swashbuckling smuggler Han Solo disobeyed Air Traffic Control on Wednesday and flew his aircraft, presumably the Millennium Falcon, over a runway where another plane was landing.

The notorious space criminal, whose real name is Harrison Ford, "mis-heard" the controller's instructions, according to a publicist in a fur suit wearing bandoliers.

The Falcon came within 1100 meters of the plane that was landing, which means they were nearly a mile apart, but scary nonetheless, except to pilots, who say that over a runway is the safest place to be, as any other plane is pretty close to ground-level for one of two reasons (three, if you count crashing). It could be that when the wookie is doing one of those primal things, it would make the controller sound as though he were saying, "Falcon, you are cleared to enter restricted airspace."

Solo has had repeated problems with the authorities, cited but not disciplined in 2017 for landing at John Wayne Airport in Santa Ana, California, on something near a runway that looked like a runway but was not a runway. The FAA asked Solo, 77, to complete "awareness training," which evidently did not include awareness of what controllers are telling him to do on the radio.

"The purpose of the flight was to maintain currency and proficiency in the aircraft," said the mangy publicist, which means that, by any measure, the purpose was not achieved. This may mean that Solo will feel bound to take the Falcon up again, and might even fly "solo."