UnNews:ISIS suffers intelligence setback
| Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother? | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Thursday, April 25, 2024, 09:02:59 (UTC) |
| ISIS suffers intelligence setback | 
|
5 June 2015
PILE OF SMOKING RUBBLE, Syria -- Forces of the Islamic State suffered another tactical defeat from the West's key military superiority: that a force recruiting suicide bombers does not assemble the world's smartest soldiers (and indeed no veterans of successful operations).
Thus a junior member of Islamic State posted a selfie on-line from Daesh Headquarters, formerly here, boasting of the facility's command-and-control capabilities.
According to Air Force Gen. Hawk Carlisle, a veteran of numerous anti-terrorism operations and surely of one name change in Probate Court, Air Force laptop pilots in Florida worked from the selfie, identified the background, and 22 hours later, enqueued three JDAMs to profoundly change its outward and probably inward appearance.
The Department of Defense did not disclose which social media website received the selfie, which is odd, as any "intelligence" advantage would have been rendered irrelevant.
The Joint Chiefs are studying parachuting selfie sticks into the "theater," with which to encourage more self-reconnaissance by junior ISIS warriors, in place of the current packages of leaflets explaining how America will never sink to their level.
Sources[edit]
- Douglas Ernst "Terrorist ‘moron’ reveals ISIS HQ in online selfie; U.S. Air Force promptly destroys compound". Washington Times, June 5, 2015