UnNews:Tommy Robinson to be new UK ambassador for USA

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12 July 2019

Ambassador Robinson liaising with Metropolitan Police.

LONDON, United Kingdom -- British Prime Minister Almost Elect Boris Johnson has confirmed he intends to appoint Tommy Robinson as the new British ambassador to the USA. The British convict (under his real name of Stephen Yaxley-Lennon) is said to be the only suitable liaison to President Donald Trump.

The vacancy occurred when ex-ambassador Sir Nigel Kim Darroch's emails to Theresa May were leaked to a tabloid newspaper. They had described Trump as "mad, insane, crazy, and just batshit nuts." Trump had then ordered the White House to include Darroch in the federal campaign against social diseases. Darroch eventually resigned when his new-boss-in-waiting Boris Johnson, in a television debate, agreed with Trump's assessment.

First choice to replace Darroch had been the Brexit Party leader Nigel Farage, but he declined as has been promised the job of Deputy Prime Minister by Johnson. This reduced the number of compatible candidates to Tommy Robinson who, like Trump, is notorious for his anti-Islam expressions.

Robinson is currently in prison for defying a court order by filming outside Leeds Crown Court during a trial into the sexual exploitation of girls, as the resulting video might lead watchers to unfortunate stereotypes about defendants who happen to wrap their heads in towels. He has since written to Trump asking for political asylum, which led to the President asking for Robinson to be appointed. This prompted Johnson to recommend releasing Robinson from jail so that he can serve time in Washington D.C.

"I am very glad to get the job," said Robinson in his cell. "Trump is my man. Thanks Boris, too, now you know there is a true patriot working for you and Don."

Robinson is expected to be released as soon as Boris Johnson becomes Prime Minister. The two will then travel to visit Trump and promise to Make America Great Again.

Sources[edit]

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