UnNews:Trump: Elections not as democratic as my Twitter feed

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Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard UnNews Sunday, October 25, 2020, 06:08:59 (UTC)

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31 July 2020

President Trump explains why elections are not as democratic as his twitter feed.

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump has cancelled a series of advertisements and fired his campaign manager, leading many to wonder about his strategy for a second term. He addressed these campaign issues in a Rose Garden press conference scheduled for an update on the Coronavirus.

He opened with unsolicited remarks about the news media. "I can talk about fake news if you like, you know, we all know about fake news, terrible for the country, really terrible. You want some fake news? I’m trying to undermine democracy and stay in office? That’s fake news, very fake.

"I love elections, really I do, they are a good thing, you know, for the country, for veterans. But the next vote will be crooked, everyone knows that, I tweeted it. The New York Times won’t say that. No, we want to have an election where people actually go in, what’s your name? My name is so-and-so and you signed the book. I’ve been doing it for years."

When Jim Acosta of CNN noted that Trump himself voted by mail the last few years, Trump replied, "I did that as a joke, you know, to keep the fake news happy, bless them. I can’t go in person; I don’t want to risk security people, great guys. Do you like to vote? It’s a good thing, really good thing, for democracy, if it is not rigged, which it is."

Trump addressed the suspension of the ad campaign for a review of the messaging. "You know, I keep telling my advisors what they need to tell me, really, I do, that’s my job as President, and you gotta be tough sometimes. I had to be tough on (Brad) Pascale, I had to be tough, he just didn’t have the balls to do what I wanted. I said put on billboards across the US that Biden was a puppet of the radical-left, like Grover from Sesame Street, or Big Bird.

"He didn’t want to do that. It’s true, and America needs to know this, they need to know Pascale is a pussy and Biden’s a real dangerous thing. Nobody wants free healthcare and all that Obama stuff, especially now. Biden’s real dangerous for his things, you know, not a good person.

"So, I put Bill Stepien in charge, he’s a good guy, really good guy. You know he grabbed over 46 female staffers’ asses to work for me? My kinda guy, and he’s doin’ a great job.

"If you're not sure which way to vote, just look at my results before the virus. The economy was booming, employment was at an all time low, so were taxes. I rolled back more federal regulations than in American history and 150,000 US more citizens were alive. Great numbers, really great numbers, the numbers don’t lie. The Washington Post never says that."

Asked to lay out his strategy for a second term, Trump stated, "I’ll tell you what I’ll offer our wonderful voters, and this is the truth, if they give me a second term, I’ll post pictures of Kayleigh McEnany naked on my Twitter feed, it’ll be a great day for America. I’m the real deal, I will do that. USA Today won’t do that, but I will."