UnNews:Uncyclopedia unaffected by Wikipedia scam

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2 September 2015

By all accounts, it is business-as-usual at the world's most reliable encyclopedia.

WIKIA CITY, California -- Administrators of Uncyclopedia claim that that website is unaffected by an extortion scam gripping Wikipedia.

In that scheme, various editors create vanity pieces related to famous corporations, then solicit reimbursement for having written the article — or "protection money" to guard against vandalism of the article.

"The term 'scheme' hardly evidences Wikipedia's celebrated 'good faith,'" said a Mr. Orange Moody, an insider in the know. "What's more, I can't believe they banned me, along with my 380 sockpuppets."

By comparison, Uncyclopedia claims that nobody cares what is on its pages, and is confident nobody would pay to have them changed in one direction or another. In fact, Uncyclopedia policies welcome not just vanity but overt cyberbullying, though Admins claim that Greggs and Fisher-Price would probably pay big bucks to have their Uncyclopedia articles just go away. These Admins warn that the payments would not be so huge as to enable actual monetary awards for winners of writing contests, so it is likely that prizes will continue to be photos of medals.

In contrast, former Florida governor Jeb Bush is relying on his Uncyclopedia article to assert that there is some point to his well-funded but floundering campaign for U.S. President.

"Black hat" editing — charging money for the creation of Uncyclopedia articles that are not complete crap — has not been a problem at all, to-date, though Uncyclopedians do not have complete information, as most spend the majority of their time vandalizing Wikipedia.

An Uncyclopedia Forum has been created that proposes that this pastime could be made so lucrative that cash prizes could indeed be awarded someday. Management warns that anyone seeking to use Uncyclopedia in a pay-to-play scam should remunerate the site with something that technically is not money — perhaps Bitcoins. The thinking is that the Obama administration, in its zeal to replace everything from free-lancers to Minor League Baseball interns with a workforce that is more permanent and easily unionized, will never get around to regulating this commerce, nor indeed the entire industry of Writing for No Pay.

Sources[edit]

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