UnNews:Washed Up 70's Rock Band touring to promote new album

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23 April 2008

Washed Up 70's Rock Band before Disastrous Public Event at Meaningless Industry-Driven Award Program.

CITY, State - Today Washed Up 70's Rock Band announced that they would be launching their Forgotten Band Comeback Tour to promote their new CD, Last Chance to Make Money Before We Die. They will be touring many major cities across Large Country, ending the Forgotten Band Comeback Tour with a performance at Large Corporate Sponsor Dome in the heart of City. Last Chance to Make Money Before We Die is expected to hit stores Month.

Many fans are very excited for the new album. "I really liked a lot of the stuff on Album, but I was less impressed with Second Album. Another Album was better, but I kind of thought Producer was trying too hard. Live Album was almost as good as Album," says Loyal Fan, "Of course there was the embarrassment of their foray into "urban sounds" on Ill-Advised Album, but even that wasn't as bad as Embarrassing Post-Rehab Mistake. I have high hopes for Last Chance to Make Money, though." Others, however, are not enthusiastic for the release. "Washed Up 70's Rock Band completely sold out," said Unhappy Fan, "I liked them better when nobody else liked them. But now that they're all well known, and have Gigantic Guitar Company by their side, it's just not the same."

With Washed Up 70's Rock Band coming under fire in the 90's for Disastrous Public Event, many fans thought that they would never play publicly again. At Meaningless Industry-Driven Award Program, Drummer attacked Pop Culture Celebrity after she awarded Award to More Marketable Younger Band. After the incident, Washed Up 70's Rock Band largely went under the radar for a while, until Year, when they released Embarrassing Post-Rehab Mistake. The CD was largely unsuccessful, garnering poor ratings from Generic Music Magazine and Large Newspaper.

Washed Up 70's Rock Band during a recent recording session at Big Famous Crazy-Expensive Studio.

Washed Up 70's Rock Band, however, promises great things with Last Chance to Make Money. "We've really come together as a group ever since Guitarist got out of Fancy Overpriced Celebrity Rehab Center," says Singer, "With Keyboardist back in the band, we are as strong as ever! Although he and Bassist never used to get along, everything is behind us now." Some fans, though, are disappointed that Drummer will not be returning to Washed Up 70's Band for Forgotten Band Comeback Tour. "He's off doing his own thing with Other Band," mentioned Bassist, "We had to replace him with Drummist for the recording of the CD, and although Drummist is good, it's just not the same without Drummer behind his Big Drum Cooperation drumkit." Rumors of a reunion with original band member Classically Trained Percussionist proved to be unfounded.

Of course, Drummer being replaced by Drummist is only a minor setback compared to some of the things the band has gone through as of late. There was Rhythm Guitarist's sextape featuring him and Celebrity Pop Star, and then the whole fiasco with Singer changing from Mainstream Religion to Obscure Middle-Eastern Faith. But, through all this, Washed Up 70's Rock Band has managed to survive. From their first hit "Single", the band has consistently had a large following, even through all of the media attacks over Incident Involving Motorcycle Gang Security Guards. Many fans even stuck with the band through Guitarist's Potentially Career-Crippling Addiction to Substance.

"I'm very excited to see this show," states Obsessive Super-Fan, "While Embarrassing Post-Rehab Mistake wasn't their best album, I'm sure this new album will rock hard!" Still, others have different reasons to see Washed Up 70's Rock Band on tour. "I'm very surprised Singer is still alive," says Bystander, "He really needs to die. Rock and Roll legends aren't supposed to live past 40. It's a rule. I'm only going to the show in the hope he will drop dead on stage. That would be hilarious!" Singer has declined to comment on this view.


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