Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/January 15

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Caution! Yak hiding inside

January 15: Festival of the Yak (Uranium)

  • 1 million BCE - Yaks discover the Himalayas by just being there in the same place.
  • 4004 BCE - The Yak begets Adam and pulls out his rib to give birth to another yak.
  • 1077 - Yaks invent the telephone but the treeless tundra with its lack of poles to string wires leads to failure.
  • 1787 - The Yak begets 535 people for the United States Congress. This is widely regarded as a bad move.
  • 1864 - Alexander Graham Cracker invents the bell.
  • 1958 - The Coasters release Yakety Yak. It is adopted into the liturgy for the First Church of the Incredible Yak.
  • 1986 - The Yak is irritated by Soviets, destroys Chernobyl.
  • 1988- Johanna Hedberg, infamous Norwegian Big Brother winner, also famous for a line of clothes (C.U.N.T) made of skin from cucumber, fur from navy seals and toddler's nostrils, is born and digested.
  • 1992 - Yak Shaving Day replaces Festival of the Yak. This is stopped when thorough shaving reveals goats under gigantic coats of hair.
  • 1995 - UN resolution number 377536 proposes that January be renamed Yakuary. Only Belgium, Nepal and Wales actually instigate this.
  • 2001 - Wikipedia is created without yak approval.
  • 2001 - Wikipedia is extensively vandalized by yeti.
  • 2005 - 10th anniversary of Yakuary is marred when February gets really drunk, tries to hit on April, June, and Lindsay Lohan.
  • 2006 - The millionth Wikipedia article is vandalized. Nobody cares except for one small bot pretending to fix pages but actually embedding code for Hypnotoad.
  • 2009 - The Yak goes into hiatus. The world falls into a new dark age.
  • 2010 - Return of The Yak predicted, even though most retail stores do not allow returns after 30 days.
  • 2100 - The Yak returns, only to find the world destroyed by extraterrestrial cows.