Yanggakdo International Hotel
"You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave....."
The Official Experience
The Yanggakdo International Hotel of Pyongyang, The Democratic People's Republic of Korea is the finest, most luxurious, tallest, widest, cheapest and most expensive hotel ever built. It was constructed by the Eternal President Kim Il-Sung on 11th September 1975 with his BARE HANDS in one afternoon, dispite the Imperialist West's (USA) embargo on quality curtain material and pillow chocolates.
Since its grand opening in 1967, it has played host to some 20,000,000,000,000 (official figure) guests, and Gary Glitter who regularly choses Pyongyang as his annual holiday destination. The hotel welcomes all guests, unless you are Black or Female and are from Japan , South Korea or USA (Apart from Dennis Rodman , the DPRK's favourite black guy from 'Merrrica)
Best Korea is the greatest land for one to visit, it is the light in a dark bleak world (when the power hasn't failed... err I mean when the energy saving plan isn't implemented), so good that everyone tries to leave to spread the good word of this mighty nation! There is plenty of food and water and the energy conservation program ensures our carbon footprint is second to none (except for the DPRK's healthy weight loss centers located at many convenient spots).
The Not So Official Experience
If you can do without the following then your stay will be pleasant enough:-
- Running Water
- Constant Electricity
- An Adult Channel
- A Taxi Rank
- A revolving restaurant that actually goes round
- A fifth floor (unless you're a spy)
- Room Service
- BBC News 24
- An Ocean View
- A Good View
- A Bad View
- A Different Point of View
To be fair, they did have lots of Propaganda . A customer once went to the reception where he asked for a few buckets of water and an underage hooker, but she just gave him a stack of propaganda which, he was told, reasoned why only the imperialist Pigs have such extravagances as running water and 17 year old prostitutes. What these people lack in basic needs.. they sure make up for in good ol' school Propaganda .
Former guests claim that it is way better then any Travelodge .......