Shakugan no Shana
|Shakugan No Shana|
LOOK, SHE'S SO CUTE!
|Genre||Blood, Gore, Pornography, Tragedy, Action, Drama, Sci-fi, Love, Whore, fuck|
|Publisher||ASCII Media Works|
|International Networks||CN Adult Swim|
|TV Rating||TV-MA (Blood, Gore, Pornography, Sex)|
Shakugan No Shana (灼眼のシャナ, lit. Burning-Flat-Breast Bitch Shana), also known simply as Shana, is an anime about how evil anime chicks all tend to suck, especially ones that come from hell with swords and eat melon bread all the time. This is a story about a random Japanese teenager that wanted to live a normal boring life when suddenly ghosts eat him and he becomes a temporary replacement for dead humans. Shakugan No Shana is an action, comedy, romance, hentai, pedophile, stupid anime that has gained a worldwide audience. Sounds appealing, doesn't it?
The main character was found DEAD, eaten by a giant BABY at the very first episode of the very first fucking season.
A boring cliched high school emo bastard named Yuji Sakai suddenly sees frozen time and people dying in Hell around him right after a set of giant plush dolls appear to eat people. Then a monster comes to eat Yuji, however a sword-welding 12 year old girl destroys the monster. The girl then tells him you are dead even thought he does not know it, and he will soon die from everyone's memories. The rest of the story focuses on the romantic plot between Yuji and the girl...wait, what?
Yuji Sakai (坂井 悠二 Sakai Yūji) (Mystes) / "Silver the Second" (銀二番目) (Crimson Lord)
- Yuji, the main male lead of the series, is your typical boring, cliche, emo high school kid. Expects normal life to last forever. Yuji is a nice enough guy who puts others before himself. However one day, he somehow discovers that he is dead (because a 12-year old told you so,) and he doesn't have much time before he disappears. But wait! Yuji has a special treasure known as the Reiji Maigo, which restores his existence every day at midnight! So Yuji lives a normal life as a human that battles aliens and monsters...oh, wait. Although Yuji lacks of the training and discipline of a Flame Haze, he has demonstrated an admirable amount of CIA intelligence and logic (unfortunately rarely used), often thinking outside the box and solving puzzles others can't (though it still stands for a fact that he is totally clueless to the fact that Shana loves him and is often jealous of any girls who get too close to him).
Shana (シャナ) / "Flame-haired Blazing-eyed Bitch" (「炎髪灼眼の討ち手」 "Enpatsu Shakugan no Uchite") (Flame Haze)
- Shana is a 5-year girl (hard to tell really because she is a Flame Haze, she just acts like a schoolgirl but not in a hot
kinkyway.) that was sent out to maintain the world's balance. At first she only sees Yuji as a "object" but for some reason falls in love with him in 5 minutes. Also, she has the ability to say "Shut up!" every 5 seconds whenever someone disagrees with her, and is obsessed with bread shaped like melon. Shana reveals her love for Yuji in the end of the anime, but Yuji does not hear her because he was having sex with his other bitch. The closeness they once had begun to erection as Yuji kept a distance from her because of it. Yuji adepts a viewpoint similar to Shana's in the beginning of the second series.
Alastor (アラストール Arasutōru) / "Flame of Heavens" (「天壌の劫火」 "Tenjō no Gōka") (Lord of the Crimson Realm)
- Alastor is that bat fuck insane speaking necklace that Shana wears. It would spout out random nonsense at random times. It is also...umm...the most powerful demon/Lord/god thingy in the universe...ok?
Misaki High School students
Kazumi Yoshida (吉田 一美 Yoshida Kazumi)
- Kazumi is a fifteen-year old girl that has a crush on Yuji. However, she almost never tells him because she's too wimpy and spends her time constantly being denied. When Shana became her love-rival, she vowed to tell Yuji her feelings and to let him decide between her and Shana. These states of affairs changed after revealing the lies of the real world to her.
Matake Ogata (緒方 真竹 Ogata Matake)
- Matake is Yuji's classmate. She is a strong-willed physically sexy active girl, a bit of a dumb, yeah, fucking dumb bitch. She is very good at playing volleyball. She also has feelings for Eita Tanaka, she worries about him and his well-being.
Tenmoku Ikko (天目 一個 "The One Celestial Eye")
- Tenmoku Ikko is an ancient Mystes. He is a huge man often seen wearing samurai armor and one-eyed demon mask. Tenmoku Ikko ironically reverses the usual order of things for no apparent reason whatsoever. (Possibly to power himself or just simply put to an end to an annoying interference by fucking with other peoples heads.)
Flame Hazes and Lords of the Crimson Realm
Margery Daw (マージョリー・ドー Mājorī Dō) / "Chanter of Elegies" (「弔詞の詠み手」 "Chōshi no Yomite") (Flame Haze)
- Margery is a drunk, tall, "well-endowed" and mature blond French woman that loves to punch books. She can cast any spell she wants and also has the ability to turn into a bear. She notes her fighting skills are no less for the shift in focus. Also owns slaves with a drinking habit. For some reason her book loves to make fun of her. After countless betrayals, being the daughter of a landlord in medieval times, her father was killed and she had ended up in a brothel. Nuff said.
Wilhelmina Carmel (ヴィルヘルミナ・カルメル Viruherumina Karumeru) / "Manipulator of Objects" (「万条の仕手」 "Banjō no Shite") ("Specialist of Everything" in the English anime) (Flame Haze)
- Wilhelmina is a German version of Yuki Nagato in maid uniform which she is seen in all the time. Her headband has the ability to kill people. Wilhelmina has begun to, more or less, accept Yuji's presence, if not his influence on Shana, and on Shana's request becomes Yuji's training partner when Shana is otherwise not available.
In Season 3 (takes a long time after Season 2) Yuji is posessed by a 10,000 (million) times Evil God, with The Clubbing-Snake-Of The Festivus to create a new but Uncyclopedia is the worst of the world that will kill any people.