Talk:Shaquille O'Neal

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search

Your mother need to wash your mouth out with soap. Do you talk to your Mother with that mouth?

If my mother doesn't like it, she can suck my dick. --ManiacJaSg.gif-Maniac1075Complain Here 04:39, October 13, 2010 (UTC)

Not funny[edit]

This article needs major work. It says here that not everyone likes scatological humor or excessive swearing, and I'm seeing what might be racism as well. I won't demand that anyone step in to improve the article -- I may work on it myself if no one else does --, but I thought someone should say something. Llwy-ar-lawr (talk) 16:52, February 15, 2013 (UTC)

I agree. We're potentially more tolerant of racism if it works within an article (like Stereotype), but this article is just bad. I'm from a part of the world where Shaq barely registers. Beyond sharing a birthday with him, and knowing he plays baseball, I know nothing, so can't really do much to clean this one up. What I will do is add a {{fix}} tag, so you have time to work on it, but as it stands it's delete-able.                               Puppy's talk page10:33 15 Feb
I wrote the original article, and I'm from the deep, deep, deep, deep south too! A place where men are men, sheep are nervous and sheilas need to stop watching My Kitchen Rules thinking they will learn how to prepare a decent meal. So Shaq is known here. However, reading over what I did write originally, it could do with a fresh prospective. I was concentrating more on the pics I found or made, rather than the article itself. --ManiacJaSg.gif-Maniac1075Complain Here 04:47, February 16, 2013 (UTC)
I agree - they should go back to reading the CWA cookbook. Go back to a time where you showed your culinary prowess by making a decent damper and rabbit stew.                               Puppy's talk page05:24 16 Feb
Or the secret herbs and spices on how to make your very own Four & Twenty. I've already got the left over camel pieces that werent included in dog food, so I think i'm half way there to unlocking them all!--ManiacJaSg.gif-Maniac1075Complain Here 06:02, February 16, 2013 (UTC)
You feed your dogs real camel meat? You'll spoil them! Hoof, blood, bone, and Azaria Chamberlin is the only way to feed a dog!                               Puppy's talk page06:35 16 Feb
What? Those ingredients are too good for my mongrels. Bugger their shiny coats, it helps me shit good the next morning! --ManiacJaSg.gif-Maniac1075Complain Here 08:01, February 16, 2013 (UTC)
We need a page on Shaq. I replied at User talk:Llwy-ar-lawr. I am not situated to repair this article, though I did write Delonte West, when he was a Celtic. He reportedly "did" Shaq's mother, if that helps. Spıke Ѧ 22:38 15-Feb-13
Oh, given he is one of the US's greatest hockey stars, I agree we need a page on him. As to wether we need this page is debate able.                               Puppy's talk page10:42 15 Feb
Basketball. I take the above back. He "did" the mother of LeBron James, and I was in on that one too, the article, that is. Now, Llwy already had all the time in the world to work on Shaq; applying {{Fix}} doesn't give him time; it provides for quiet, administrative deletion, which is not the right solution. Spıke Ѧ 22:44 15-Feb-13
Actually it's more so I can keep an eye on how it progresses. If it hits the 30 day mark with no changes - and a second party decides it's delete worthy - then it gets the axe and we start it again from the ground up. I'd prefer fix expiry lead to an article being nominated for VFD, rather than an outright delete, but I wasn't really active when that policy was arbitrarily put in place over the objections of a large percentage of the community. (I did my best to make it easy to locate and improve tagged articles, and redoubled my efforts on making a back-up at the mirror though.)                               Puppy's talk page10:50 15 Feb
Is Basketball the one you play on horseback?                               Puppy's talk page10:51 15 Feb
Basketball has as much excitement as a jackalope showing up at the Westminster Dog Show and taking both top dog and mounting the real top dog. From what I can tell it's played like badmitton, only with the net bundled up and hung on a post. This is Maniac's original page, but it was covered up and hidden, although it's not that much better in terms of what you're looking for. But it is Maniac, and all his pages should be hung in a hall somewhere for future generations to marvel over. He gives great head, and then he tries to force a junkie down on the ground and shits on his stash, things like that. Look at the first answer he gave above. I'll save the non-funny tag and revert back to his last edit, and one of you conservatives should go tell him on his talk page because it is an evil we have done by not talking to him more. He's married now, to a Russian monkey, and apparantly fucks the monkey all day and long into the night. Aleister 23:13 15-2-'13
Better! Aleister, thank you for remembering the history of this. OK to take the Fix off? OK for me to protect the article against Anon? Spıke Ѧ 23:31 15-Feb-13
That explains why it's on my WL. Leave it open for anon edits though. Most of the corruption happened prior to patrolled edits being turned on. And Al's mother is apparently a 20% off cappuccino.                               Puppy's talk page01:29 16 Feb
Who wants a moccachino? Slurrrrrrrrrrrrp. MMMMM, BEEFY!!!!!!!!--ManiacJaSg.gif-Maniac1075Complain Here 04:51, February 16, 2013 (UTC)
Sorry everyone, I haven't looked at this page in quite some time so hadn't seen all the replies. Yes, I had all the time in the world, but I've been putting Shaq off because I have zero idea what to do other than try to remove some of the turd-ness and swearing (and there's always homework). I'll go try to fix things a bit now. It would be very nice if a basketball fan or something stepped in though. Llwy-ar-lawr (talk) 21:03, March 2, 2013 (UTC)
Just changed things a bit. I removed all the references to anal sex with non-consenting white women, fixed most of the bad English and changed most of the 'Shaq is a turd', but you may want to clean up the leeks and sheep because they probably belong quite firmly on the other side of the pond. Now, to chores. Llwy-ar-lawr (talk) 21:54, March 2, 2013 (UTC)
Now wait, you seem to think the article is ok now. Yes, Aleister improved it, but it does still need work. It's not funny, don't you agree? Or have we got different senses of humor/humour/however the feep you'd rather spell it? (Pfft.) Can someone at least give me an opinion on the current version? Is it any better? Because I'm planning on rewriting it some more, and I'd like to know if someone will just revert my edits. Llwy-ar-lawr (talk) 13:46, March 3, 2013 (UTC)
Who are you talking to, and why? Your most recent edit was not reverted. Spıke Ѧ 13:54 3-Mar-13
No, nobody's reverted my edits. I'm talking to anyone who thinks the article was great before I messed with it and now it stinks. I don't see any evidence of anyone like that though. Llwy-ar-lawr (talk) 14:40, March 3, 2013 (UTC)
Indeed; you are taking the article in the right direction; and the moment you realize you can be more "bold" here than on Wikipedia, we'll benefit even more. Spıke Ѧ 14:45 3-Mar-13
Everyone has a different sense of humor. However, nothings ever perfect, there is always room for improvement. I think the captions saying Hogan was Shaq's nigga was funnier. It's not a racial slur. I think it's ok as humorous on it's own, but it also plays to people calling Hogan a nigga ever since Booker T did it many moons ago. --ManiacJaSg.gif-Maniac1075Complain Here 03:14, March 4, 2013 (UTC)