UnNews:England on target to have pets vaccinated by July

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9 February 2021

The Government has promised that Bubbles' tank water will be replaced with pure AstraZenica vaccine before the end of March.

LONDON -- England is on track to have all pets vaccinated against Coronavirus by mid-summer.

More than 12 million elderly or medically vulnerable cats, snakes and budgerigars — covering up to 99% of those at most risk of dying — have had at least three doses of coronavirus vaccine so far.

There are an estimated 51 million pets on lockdown in the UK, a figure that does not include hundreds of pedigree celebrities owned by Sheiks, dot-com billionaires and The Guardian. The Tory government is accused of lack of transparency regarding pet numbers and the vaccine requirement.

There is also a concern that even after all the bees and hedgehogs have had their fifth dose, the taxpayer will still have to foot the bill for about a million gallons of the stuff to be pumped into the Thames Estuary, before the country runs out of storage.

Another potential rollout blockage is the rising anti-vaccination movement among dogs. Chaotic scenes of dug-in paws, tails between legs, whining, crouching and refusing to leave the car boot at veterinary surgeries have become a regular sight.

To ease the pressure, it has been proposed that some of the vaccinations could be sold to regions that forgot to order their own, such as Europe, or donated to banana republics, like the USA and Scotland.

However, the PM has made assurances the England’s vaccine lake will be sufficiently drained to remove lowland flood warnings in force since early January — once the trees get their ninth dose this spring — and the English can return to punting in Cambridge rather than punting on Betfred.