UnNews:Self-referential article creates chasm of controversy
| Where man always bites dog | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Sunday, April 28, 2024, 15:50:59 (UTC) |
| Self-referential article creates chasm of controversy | 
|
15 August 2006
 |
UnNews Audio (file info) |
| Listen to this story! | |
Problems playing this file? You might be a dope. |
|
UNCYCLOPEDIA CABAL BASE, the Moon -- A recent spate of self-referential UnNews articles has begun a downward spiral of self-reference, from which the news conglomerate may never recover. It began innocently enough with one user's bemusement with another's UnNews article about Billy Mays, the screaming, insane sales rep for Oxiclean. The first user's brain, orthagonally, had been considering the idea of something called All-Purpose Jesus when the trajectory was convoluted by a pictorial representation conjured by yet a third user with reference to All-Purpose Jesus.
The resultant drivel spilled onto the next day's UnNews Main Paige in the form of an article referencing Billy Mays. The second user quickly retaliated with what can only be described as indescribable: an article about Billy Mays, referencing the hostile takover bid by All-Purpose Jesus, referencing the original Billy Mays article. Not satisfied with simply instigating a redundant chain of redundancy, user number 2 peppered his self-referential article with self-referencing links in the guise of innocent bat fuck insane users.
A fourth user thought he'd get in on the action, stealthily wrote two articles which directly contradicted each other, and referenced one another with a clever application of the {{Old news}} template. The first user, thinking he'd be equally as clever, inserted the contradictory self-referencing stories together as "Breaking News". But, the war was not not won for the loss of the gain of a battle.
A fifth user created yet another self-self-self referential article claiming Russia had won, creating a conundrum and a bongo drum, which is really two drums together, thus making a total of three drums.
This self-self-self-self-self-self referential reference ultimately begs the self-referential question; will there be yet a third addition to "Breaking News", thus continuing the chain-letter like horror beyond even the imaginings of H.P. Lovecraft?
Update: Yes.
The Buddha said, existence is suffering. UnNews Audio is a cause of suffering; therefore, you are; or, to quote Frank Zappa, "You are what you is".
Sources[edit]
- M.C. Escher "Self-referential article creates chasm of controversy". Fractal Things Press, August 15, 2006
