Windows 1.0
Windows 1.0 was a revolutionary operating system from the makers of Windows BC. It pioneered creating the Blue Screen of Death at startup and destroying whole computers. Microsoft's original strategy was to improve the existing DOS operating system by creating a little bit more verbosity, so users would know what they were doing, and to combat Bell Labs' UNIX operating system. Unfortunately for Microsoft, but fortunately for Nebraska, the source code was leaked over several IRC channels, and users were able to remove the dongle detection code. Microsoft lost almost all of the initial $300 investment which went into the creation of windows 1.0 and the $99,700 investment on their ad campaign.
Windows 1.0 Beta[edit]
Windows 1.0 Beta was invented at the time around 50BC and stayed in beta for another 56 Years when the real version was invented in 6 AD Source Code for Windows 1.0 Beta
color 1F rem dat makz it blue har har har...
Source Code for Windows 1.0[edit]
Source code For Windows 1.0:
#include <dos.h>
#include <stdio.h>
#include <conio.h>
#include <windows.h>
#define COM1 0x3F8
#define GET_OK '+'
#define '1337'
#define WINVER 1
int system(char* error)
{
return -3;
}
int main(char argc, char **argv)
{
/*check if windows dongle is present*/
outportb(COM1, GET_OK);
if(!(inportb(COM1)=='W' && inportb(COM1)== 'i' &&
inportb(COM1)=='n' && inportb(COM1)=='1' ))
{
/*tell user where to install dongle*/
perror("Please install dongle on COM 1\n");
return 1;
}
if(argc>2)
{
printf("Windows is now executing %s, please wait......\n",argv[1]);
for(int i=system(argv[1]); ; i++) {
if(i == argc*WINVER) KeBugCheck(0x0);
}
}
else
{
perror("Fatal 0E Error!\n");
return 1;
}
return 0;
}
During the beta testing of the pre 1.0 versions of windows, one of the beta testers warned that Windows 1.0 was not all the useful, and Microsoft would have to vastly improve the OS to compete. It was not until Windows 2.0 that the OS served as a full program manager, even then, it rarely worked.
This is the internal alpha version of 1.0 which Microsoft had been running internally:
/*Windows 1.0 codename CodeMonkey super secret alpha release*/
int main()
{
return !(printf("Please type the name of the program you wish to execute:\n"));
}
The term Blue Screen of Death was still unknown to windows, it was invented in 1992 with the release of Windows 3.1 for Work groups.
Support and Terrorism[edit]
Windows 1.0 was supported by Microsoft for sixteen years, until December 31 2001. Windows 1.0 was the longest supported operating system of the Microsoft Windows family of operating systems.
Windows 1.0 users were known to burn the users of Windows for Workgroups 3.11 while screaming "Eat it, Windows for Workgroups." Police tolerated this because they support the old school.
Windows 1.0 is a favoured OS for uncyclopedia copyeditors due to its common spell check errors
See Also[edit]
Because we're worth it.
• Detect "non-genuine" products
• Gather user information and credit card numbers
• Cripple core system components
• Deploy legal team
• Launch civil litigation
Estimated time remaining:
Forever, or if you give me a cookie, I might shorten it to an hour.
Related technology:
Apple
MS-UNO
MS-DOS
.NET
Blue Screen of Death
Calculator
CTRL-ALT-DEL
DirectX
Hotmail
Internet Explorer
UnNews: Microsoft unveils Internet Genuine Advantage
Microsoft Products Online Technical Support
Microsoft Access
Microsoft Keyboard
Microsoft Office
Microsoft Outlook
Microsoft Surface
MS Paint
PowerPoint
MS Word
Microsoft Word Paperclip
Minesweeper
MSNBC
Notepad
Registry Editor
Total Fucking Asshole Server 2006
Microsoft Immortal Life Support System
Task Manager
Windows X-Console
Windows Product line:
