UnNews:Trump resurrected at CPAC

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UnFair and UnBalanced UnNews Sunday, June 13, 2021, 20:22:59 (UTC)

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27 February 2021

Adoration of the Golden Donald.

ORLANDO, Florida -- Republicans, QAnon, shamans and other supporters of President Donald Trump gathered in the Hyatt Hotel here to take part in this year's un-Woke CPAC (Conservative Political Anti-Antifa Conference). Representing the sum total of modern Republican intellectual heft, the theme of this year's CPAC is the "cancel culture" that declares that certain people are not welcome. Day 1 of the conference will illustrate by example, on Sen. Mitt Romney and Rep. Liz Cheney. Subsequent days will discuss carrying on the Constitutional fight against pseudo-president Joe Biden, who could not be the legitimate winner over past, present, and future President Trump.

The meeting started with a slow dance around a specially commissioned statue of Trump, dressed like a Maga Man. Except, being special, Donald was cast in pure gold. A larger version of this statue is to be housed in the projected Maga Memorial planned for Washington, D.C., once it is liberated from forces belonging to the radical Democrats under the flag of communist China.

Everyone who voted to challenge the fraudulent "results" of the 2020 election was either in attendance or had a convincing excuse. Senator Ted Cruz — who had such an excuse but hastily said Adios to it — gave a rousing speech. Up-and-coming Republican heroines Lauren Boebert and Marjorie Taylor Greene, likewise vilified by foaming-mouthed liberals, were made the conference's sergeants-at-arms and celebrated by shooting out a few of the Hyatt's chandeliers. This will be a gathering of patriots; at least, all those currently free and not unjustly linked with the Antifa-inspired attack on the White House in January.

"It's gonna be one hell of a party," said Donald Trump Jr. "I'm partying already. People want to come here and see my dad giving Biden both barrels. Sorry, I need a tissue for my nose. My family will be here 100% — Even Melania has promised to come. We're all on brand!"

One of Trump's chief supporters, Sen. Lindsey Graham, was enthusiastic about the meeting. A fierce critic of Trump, throughout 2016 and on one January day in 2021, Graham stressed that Biden is an illegal occupant of the office of President. He said, "There is no '46'. When Trump returns to the White House, he'll be 45 all over again, except we are gonna reset the clock. Eight more years!" By acclamation, the "party of law and order" endorsed Graham's notion that Trump was hindered so badly in 2017-2021 that his next term — starting in 2024, or preferably 2022 — should be counted as his first.