UnNews:Admins vow to quit if vote unfavorable

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The news outlet with approval higher than Congress UnNews Thursday, November 26, 2020, 23:30:59 (UTC)

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4 November 2020

Jumping out the windows at Uncyclopedia headquarters is not an option, because they're sealed.

WIKIA CITY, California -- Uncyclopedia administrators have vowed to follow Bruce Springsteen, John Legend, and Ricky Martin and emigrate if the U.S. election results are unsatisfactory to them.

Rage-quits are a proud tradition at Uncyclopedia, and there is as little need for a "nexus" between action and predicate as there is for a nexus between subject and predicate in articles. Thus, several Admins have declared they will emigrate to a "friendlier" website if their demands regarding the next U.S. President are not satisfied.

A rasher of Admins walked away in 2013 claiming, as Legend does now, that the leadership at the time had a "project" of destroying democracy — not to mention huffing the cherished nip-slip photos. Most of the remaining Admins saw fit to move to another "country" well in advance of the election, surely anticipating an unfavorable outcome and avoiding the last-minute rush. Romartus took election week off to paste on a fake goatee and hold a campaign sign over the Motorway. Now, he is absent because his laptop is at the office but Boris Johnson insists that he stay home until no remaining bits of Coronavirus are detectable. EStop is missing and must be presumed lost at sea.

Spike, who last stormed off in 2017 chanting, "TLS 2.0," was the only Admin vowing to stay, as "working for no pay" puts him in the only tax bracket he favors under Joe Biden's platform.

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