Forum:Uncyclopedia merchandise

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Note: This topic has been unedited for 5081 days. It is considered archived - the discussion is over.


sannse says it's perfectly fine with Wikia if we do this, so I've decided we should make it happen. I've consulted numerous users about this, asking for their input and feeback. All of them have been in a large approval, and I'll suppose that the community is in approval as well unless anyone objects. The only thing I have to do is get permission from Rcmurphy to use the Uncyc logo and we can be all legit. I do want this to be run with the input of the community, so here are the details and what I need from you to make this happen for Uncyclopedia:

  1. It's being hosted on CafePress, who gives 10% commission on all sales.
  2. The money will only go to one of two places: the PLS prize money account or to Wikia on a donations basis. If, after some time, you guys want to do something else with that money like advertising (which we are permitted to do, believe it or not) then by all means we can. Records of sales and records of where every cent goes will be accurately kept and no amount of money will be given to one individual person. This money is Uncyclopedia's.
  3. Potatochoppers: I need designs for all sorts of things. Clocks, t-shirts, hoodies, coffee mugs, and bumper stickers especially. Images must be 2000 x 2000 or larger, 100 200 dpi (or more) and saved to a transparent background as a .png. Keep in mind that anything black will be transparent on a black t-shirt, and anything white will be transparent on everything but dark t-shirts. Send submissions to uncyclopedia.merch@gmail.com
  4. The shop is currently under construction. You cannot purchase anything yet, and the designs at present are not final, but here it is.

Any other testicals are welcome in my mouth. And no, things from here will not be accepted. Except for the Uncyc and UnNews logo. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 00:29 May 26 2010

Why CafePress? Have we looked at other sites to sell merchandise through? I don't have any suggestions in particular, but maybe we can get a better deal elsewhere.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  SU&W) 00:40 May 26, 2010
Oli suggested District Lines. The only difference is commission. CafePress' is smaller, but that's not even an issue considering we're not doing this for profit but to invest anything we earn back into the site. District Line also does not have the range of accessories that CafePress has. And CafePress is, hands down, easier to use. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 00:50 May 26 2010
Who will have access to our CafePress site? Who will be collecting/tallying the money? Should we put any ol' design in the store, or are we going to make a new voting page specifically for that?  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  SU&W) 00:54 May 26, 2010
Admins who have an interest in having access can have access to both the CafePress site and the e-mail attached to it. I hate to say it because it will undoubtedly raise questions about transparency and trust, but there will not be a public bank account which multiple people will have access to. That's just ridiculous. The money will be directed to an account held by myself. It's going to be run similar to how I've been handling the PLS donations: a separate checking account in both my PayPal and my personal bank account, the former of which is tied to the latter. Upon the request of the community I will be ready to furnish transaction records to and from these accounts (obvious private details will be excluded). What it of course comes down to is trust, and this is perhaps the only feasible way of getting Uncyclopedia merchandise out there with the community's approval. There are other people out there selling Uncyc merchandise on CafePress and similar sites making a dollar off of our name. I'm willing to scrap my efforts if anyone can come up with something else -- hence this forum for discussion. Also, I intend to make a voting page for all of the design submissions I've received and allow the community to vote on them. Mind you, I could very well set this up all by myself without the community's approval and do it without any recourse. But I have more respect than that for the community, and I won't do it otherwise. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 01:51 May 26 2010
I have no idea what the second half of that paragraph had to do with anything I just said, but, okay!  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  SU&W) 03:15 May 26, 2010
Oh I know. I was just putting it out there for everyone else. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 03:22 May 26 2010
That's what he said.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  SU&W) 03:26 May 26, 2010

If somebody with skillz could recreate Sophia as a SVG, it would do WONDERS towards getting this off the ground. Additionally, I fully support EMC as being in charge of this, as he has an exemplary track record with things like the Poo Lit Surprise. He's just plain good at handling this sort of thing without blowing all the money on hookers and beer.     EugeneKay wuz here (whine thank)   03:06, Wednesday 26 May 2010  

Ditto.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  SU&W) 03:15 May 26, 2010
EMC's got my support also. I hate the guy personally, but he's not clever or creative enough to get rich off this. And I fully encourage any and all uses of Sophia the potato. —rc (t) 03:42, May 26, 2010 (UTC)
I would avoid CafePress. PrintFection is better - free to set up a "premium" style store, better quality shirts, and you can charge whatever you like for the shirts above their base price, so if you don't care about profit, you can sell them for that and actually not make any money in the first place. If you wanted. No limits on the number of items you can sell either. And it doesn't involve buying any stock, it's all per-order. As for the money, it might be possible to set up something like a PayPal business account with multi-user access? Dunno if that's necessary though. Spang talk 03:48, 26 May 2010
I'm looking into PrintFection and I can say that I rather like that you can set your own prices above their base line. That, and they allow you to customize your shop with HTML and CSS, and sell mousepads in your e-shop. However, they still don't have quite as many available products as CafePress. So I'm a bit torn. I'll go on and make an account there and see how I like it. Also, the thing with PayPal though is that, unless you have it tied to a personal back account, it's difficult to get your money out except through sites that accept PayPal. They can send you checks, or you could get a PayPal card tied to that account, but that's still one person more or less having the money. Though I can see the benefit of having more people directly observe the transactions. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 04:15 May 26 2010
In principle, no objection. However, I'd like to see a wider consent before you go ahead and run the store. We had that story in the past if you remember with NXWave building a store before getting consent and he was asked to be stopped, so I think you need two things - wider consent from the community and a clearer business plan - I'm not entirely sure what does "donation to Wikia" means. We also have the issue of us being a non profit site? How does this sit with everyone. Anyway, I think a wider vote is in order. ~Jewriken.GIF 05:45, May 26, 2010 (UTC)
Go back and read e|m|c's comment to DrSkully. He address all that already. MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 05:53, May 26, 2010 (UTC)
By donating to Wikia I mean that giving money to Wikia wouldn't be a bad idea. Maybe sending sannse a free mug. There's no real "business plan". If people buy stuff, we get a few bucks for the PLS or advertising (the latter of which we are perfectly able to do) or whatever the community wants to do with it for Uncyc. I'm investing some money into this personally to buy a few shirts and check the design quality before opening the shop with the community's approval. And what I'm proposing is exactly within our non-profit status: "A non-profit organization is an organization that does not distribute its surplus funds to owners or shareholders, but instead uses them to help pursue its goals." --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 05:58 May 26 2010
OK then, shall we start a wider vote? ~Jewriken.GIF 06:14, May 26, 2010 (UTC)
Sure. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 06:31 May 26 2010
I <3 you e|m|c, but I for one would be more comfortable voting on this if there were some master document that outlined what the Uncyclopedia store was going to do, where exactly it'll be hosted, and how products will be decided upon. That sort of thing. Technical junk.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  SU&W) 06:23 May 26, 2010
That could take a week because if the prints don't turn out to be of very good quality then I'm going to look to another online retailer. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 06:30 May 26 2010
I'll make this in my userspace for you, but you're really busting my balls. I feel I laid it all out pretty clearly above. I even numbered everything. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 06:35 May 26 2010
Every new post you've made has given another piece of information. So... not exactly. Also, what about a public voting page for shirt ideas / photoshops? Maybe it could get the creative juices flowing?  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  SU&W) 06:42 May 26, 2010
I already said, "Also, I intend to make a voting page for all of the design submissions I've received and allow the community to vote on them." And of course I give more detailed answers when you ask specific questions about the intended management of this. I didn't come up with this as some set-in-stone plan, though thus far the only questions being posed to me are about gathering an official consensus, looking into other apparel and e-shop sources, and some concerns over the handling of money which is not a lot. 10% commission on a $40 sale is $4. I'll drop commissions entirely if there's an issue about who ultimately handles the money. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 06:53 May 26 2010
Money really is not an issue. Period. I asked you that in the beginning because I wasn't sure if it was you or Wikia. I trust you with money entirely. The vagueness of this bugs me primarily because this idea of creating merchandise has popped up and subsequently died many times before, and a lot of it was due to it being left so vague. I really don't wanna see that happen again.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  SU&W) 06:57 May 26, 2010
PrintFection offer a $2 test print so you can test the quality. Be sure to put your test prints through the wash once or twice to check the print actually sticks well, which can be a problem for some merch companies. Spang talk 19:43, 26 May 2010

Good god, do you guys know how to do anything except for whine? The man is doing what nobody has managed to do in years, and all you're up for is complaining? Take a dick and stick it in your proverbial arses. e|m|c will do what is right. If not, I'll shag him in the arse like he deserves.     EugeneKay wuz here (whine thank)   06:55, Wednesday 26 May 2010  

I think you need to differentiate "whining" from "asking questions". ~Jewriken.GIF 08:08, May 26, 2010 (UTC)

Vote

Score: +9
  • Symbol for vote.svg For. Obviously --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 06:36 May 26 2010
  • For Cause it's planned out amazingly. MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 06:38, May 26, 2010 (UTC)
  • Symbol for vote.svg 4398673864386249632946923833269463983264982364982364928364982364983264982364932649823659236598326 - 4398673864386249632946923833269463983264982364982364928364982364983264982364932649823659236598322 Yea what they said. The preceding unsigned comment was added by Sawblade5 (talk • contribs) 06:41, May 26, 2010 (UTC)
  • Symbol for vote.svg Whatever!  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  SU&W) 06:49 May 26, 2010
  • If we can guarantee complete transparency, make sure that it's a community decision for each and every part of this project and not by some off site quorum and if this whole "donation to Wikia" can be clarified I have no objections. Also, make sure you get a baby shirt that says "My dad banned your dad's ass" and I'll be your first customer. ~Jewriken.GIF 08:08, May 26, 2010 (UTC)
  • Symbol for vote.svg For. I need more novelty t-shirts. Explode fire.gif Explode fire.gifNeon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNG - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fire.gifCUNExplode fire.gifVFHExplode fire.gifWhoringExplode fire.gifMore Whoring Explode fire.gifat21:12, Wednesday 26 May 2010 - Neon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNGExplode fire.gifExplode fire.gif
  • Symbol for vote.svg For. I need an Uncyc t-shirt too. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA Lord of Egypt AMUSE ME 23:49, May 26, 2010 (UTC)
  • Yeah, What Mordillo said. Except instead of the baby shirt, I want a hate haet hat. Spang talk 21:05, 27 May 2010
  • Symbol for vote.svg For. makin' & sellin' stuffs.  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280.jpg ~  28 May 2010 ~ 07:26 (UTC)
  • Symbol for vote.svg For. But you forgot to contact me as much as you forgot Poland! Are we going to sell thongs? GiratinaOriginForme.png |Si Plebius Dato' (Sir) Joe ang Man on Fire CUN|IC Kill Don't be fooled. I'm an Aussie too. | 11:16, May 28, 2010 (UTC)

Informative header positioned underneath the voting area so as not to push it down further with blather

Okay, I trust e|m|c entirely, but a lot of this is left sort of vague. In particular, how designs will be made and chosen. It's possible someone has a great T-shirt idea and lame photoshopping skills, or is amazing at photoshop but can't make a sellable T-shirt worth crap... how do we match these people together? Also, did the CafePress thing get cleared up and finalized? But yeah. I think it's mostly the design process being so vague that's bugging me right now. We need clever designs, surely, and I think we need to design some sort of think tank to get them.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  SU&W) 06:51 May 26, 2010

Well, I'm looking at the operative pros and cons of different sites, namely CafePress, District Lines, PrintFection, and SpreadShirt.com. As long as the quality is decent -- which I'll evaluate first hand and post pictures for the community to judge -- then I see no problem with running with CafePress. But I am concerned about their quality as Spang pointed out, and reading some of their reviews I'm a bit iffy. But we'll see. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 06:56 May 26 2010
What this site has in abundance already is marketable articles. The restriction relating to reprinting these is permission of the primary author from what Sannse has said in the past. Is there an outlet where we could potentially market the print version of Uncyclopedia if and when we get that off the ground. And as for Sophia as an SVG - if someone can send me a higher quality version of her/it as a jpg I hopefully will be able to get something done and e-mailed back. (Limited net access means I can't download it myself without potentially getting fired.)                               Puppy's talk page00:40, June 5, 2009 Wednesday, 07:46, May 26 2010 UTC

Puzzle Potato.svg

Puzzle Potato simple.svg

Ask, and ye shall... Second one is less detailed, but smaller file size.                               Puppy's talk page00:40, June 5, 2009 Wednesday, 10:39, May 26 2010 UTC

Use of the money

A very good idea. Why so little, 10 percent? As for where the money goes, Wikia makes money from the site already through the ads that run along the bottom. I suggest using any and all funds from this to hire a compentent public relations person to promote the site through news releases, promotional material, etc. Get the admins an interview with the NY Times or London Times. Put someone on Maddow for her moment of geek. Thousands of ideas. Is Wikia promoting us? Do they have someone on staff who is working to promote the site? If so, donate towards that person's salarly, but if not, let them find their gold elsewhere by advertising iCarly wiki's or Shreak or whatever it is they're pushing now. Al sans chains 10:55 26 5 MMX

Downside to any potential public relations person: They may try to convince us to "limit out content" to "appeal to a wider audience. Also,we should have "A Wizard did it" shirts.It's Mrthejazz... a case not yet solved. 14:26, May 26, 2010 (UTC)
Plus, if it works, the public will be more likely to intentionally come here, rather than accidentally stumble in, buzzed on coffee and late for a term paper, desperate for research material. Our unique set of facts looks pretty good when you don't have time to pay attention. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 16:08, May 26, 2010 (UTC)
Heh, that reminds me of this
Or we could totally donate it to advertising on other humor sites, such as webcomics. Many webcomics have a thriving community with a sense of humor surrounding them. If we could recrute these people, we might have a whole new slew of editors who actually appreciate reading, writing, and voting on funny junk. Just a thought.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  SU&W) 20:52 May 26, 2010
I was hoping that would link to Project Wonderful. We should just make sure we have a good article on any of the comics we were to advertise on... Spang talk 20:59, 26 May 2010
I certainly don't object to advertising on any webcomic, but I think we could especially give MSPA some attention. The community is huge and ever-growing, tons of them collaborate on their own side stories/projects, and many of them are involved in the Wikia wiki for the comic. So: Creative talent - check; wiki experience - check; wacky sense of humor - check; ability to follow something extremely convoluted and never complain - check.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  SU&W) 21:05 May 26, 2010
Guys, perhaps we should have "A wizard did it" mugs, clocks, watches, T-shirts, thongs, aprons, etc. alongside Uncyclopedia/UnNews/DNS/etc. GiratinaOriginForme.png |Si Plebius Dato' (Sir) Joe ang Man on Fire CUN|IC Kill Don't be fooled. I'm an Aussie too. | 11:23, May 28, 2010 (UTC)
I would totally buy "A Wizard Did It" thong, and I'm not even female.It's Mrthejazz... a case not yet solved. 02:39, May 30, 2010 (UTC)

Hello, but there is one problem

If we are going to sell watches, T-shirts, thongs, mugs, keychains and clocks with Uncyclopedia's Potato Puzzle, what about UnNews ones? And why no Dead Snigger Storage? Also, that is created by NXWave. NXWave does not exist. There is no NXWave. NXWave never existed. GiratinaOriginForme.png |Si Plebius Dato' (Sir) Joe ang Man on Fire CUN|IC Kill Don't be fooled. I'm an Aussie too. | 11:20, May 28, 2010 (UTC)

I like the Wizard did it tee shirt. Would actually buy one of those. Al des chains 12:40 28 5 mmx
I'm working on a big png of a wizard at the moment (about 10 times the original size). Problem is that the character depicted is a Disney character. That means copyright Disney. Uncyc is protected under parody (although I'm not intending to fight a legal battle over that with Disney), but would that protection extend to Uncyc merch? I don't know the answer, but expect a big wizard image sometime soon.                               Puppy's talk page00:40, June 5, 2009 Friday, 13:10, May 28 2010 UTC
To answer Joey: We're going to sell UnNews shirts and jackets (that sort of thing). Currently, we aren't going to sell Dead Snigger Storage because of um... That guy... And in regards to "A wizard did it": Puppy raised a good point. We don't want to risk Disney suing us, so I want opinions of
Wizardiditfinal.png
Do you guys like it? I have another one I'm working on, too. MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 13:24, May 28, 2010 (UTC)
We have UnNews shirts and a mug. They have the UnNews logo on the left chest area and say "PRESS" on the back. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 18:28 May 28 2010
I would be enthused to buy one of each. Spıke Ѧ 00:40 29-May-10
I did some designs because I'm a huge faggot and stuff. Explode fire.gif Explode fire.gifNeon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNG - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBExplode fire.gifCUNExplode fire.gifVFHExplode fire.gifWhoringExplode fire.gifMore Whoring Explode fire.gifat23:58, Saturday 29 May 2010 - Neon Green Hammer And Sickle.PNGExplode fire.gifExplode fire.gif

We're going with PrintFection

Fuck Cafepress. I just talked to our liaison (her name is Rachel and she's awesome) and I asked her about the possibility of expanding to other accessories, i.e. clocks. She said she's going to look into it for us and assured us that our current design process is exactly what we need to be doing. JockePirate has just designed our site with them, and according to reviews I've been reading (from Spang's suggestion) PrintFection's quality and delivery is much better. We can also adjust our commission and work out something with them to create discount coupons and such. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 18:30 May 28 2010

How about winning designers getting 25% discount coupouns? SIRE FREDDMOOSHA Lord of Egypt AMUSE ME 20:49, May 28, 2010 (UTC)
Discount coupons expire after 3 days? GiratinaOriginForme.png |Si Plebius Dato' (Sir) Joe ang Man on Fire CUN|IC Kill Don't be fooled. I'm an Aussie too. | 01:47, May 29, 2010 (UTC)